(Yesterday & Today is actually one of Do As Infinity's nice songs. But I'm not going to talk about that.. ^^;;)
YESTERDAY. Well, a lot of things happened to me yesterday. I went to school with a classmate to inquire something for our Pharma research work, then I got my grades.. *sad* Well, it was definitely bad, but at least it wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be. I will have to double my efforts in the third and fourth bimonthlies to make up for such horrible grades, and yes, I promise I will study Surgery already! -_-
After that, I went to the mall. Upon reaching the mall parking lot, the jeepney I was riding on collided with a taxi. Baka no taxi driver, out of nowhere, decided to make a turn and so we sort of crashed its side. Tsk. I bet the side of that taxi is all scratched up. And that silver round thingy on its front wheel flew off. Tsk. I actually folded my arm a bit during the collision, but no harm done. An old man fell off his seat to the jeepney floor. And some of the passengers hurt their arms and feet. But at least there were no major injuries. I thought it was pretty cool (yah, I have this sick mentality ^_____^) but I'm glad no one was hurt. I feel bad though for the taxi and jeepney drivers. I wonder how they settled the issue.
Well, I went to the mall to buy a CD and ate ice cream for lunch. Then I dropped by the bookstore and saw this nice picture book called "The Glass Heart". It looks like a kiddie book but I think it was intended also for adults who can understand the magic in picture books. Well anyway, I read the entire book at the store (hihihihi ^____^) and found out that it was a pretty interesting read with nice drawings. It tells of three princesses who have glass hearts. The first princess fell in love, broke her heart and died. The second princess liked a flower, cracked her heart, and was bedridden for the rest of her life. The third princess found true love in someone who was willing to learn more about her glass heart and protect it. What struck me was not actually the mushy love story but what the second princess said about her cracked heart. She said, "Something that is broken and mended often lasts much longer than something that is new..." Hmm.. I wonder if what she said applies also to human relationships.
Afterwards, I went to many other places, bought some cute things, and just enjoyed my time alone. When I went home, I watched some TV then I texted a friend and got annoyed with her attitude. I decided to ignore her, and talked with my mom instead about my grades. I told her not to tell my father about my grades. *sigh* I really should stop doing things that worry my parents. The day was ending and I was gonna finish a letter for another friend, when suddenly I felt so so so so sad. I couldn't exactly pinpoint the cause. I decided to sleep on it cos I found myself very annoying.
TODAY. When I woke up, I felt like I really didn't sleep because I still have the same sad feelings, plus a sore throat. (;_;) Well so many things have to be done today though that I do not want to dwell on the matter. But I am thinking that I do not like the feelings of dependency, insecurity and weakness. I do not like people expecting and demanding from me, and I do not like myself doing the same as well. I do not like things that I cannot control and things that can disappoint me. I am afraid - very much afraid - of failing and losing all that I am trying to achieve. I feel that maybe I am having a bit of a good dream, but now I must awake. Because there are things to be done, and people who need me. And I cannot think of my own happiness, if those that I care for are not happy yet.
Sometimes I like to think because I feel mature and wise, but sometimes I also feel that too much of thinking is making me foolish and unsure of myself.
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