I AM SOOOOOOOOOooooo TIRED!!!!! o_O
I had a long week. I had long exams in Patho, Pharma and Surgery -- my three "most favorite" subjects. //rolls eyes// I had lab sessions, oral recitations, a short quiz. I also had met up with my scholarship counselor, and attended a pep talk session for the scholars. And now I just got back from a long meeting for our Pharma case presentation.
Tsukareta ne.
I am actually quite worried about my scholarship. //very sad// Because if I do not maintain my grade, they will probably take 10% off, and so that might mean "Sayonara Med School" since I don't think my parents can support me financially. Besides, it was my decision to go to Med school, so I should be responsible. //sigh// I am so tired, so confused, a little worried and well.. a little lonely too. //sheepish// I guess I have isolated myself from so many things because I have no time for them anymore. But yah, it was my decision. My responsibility. And I never have any regrets. I think if I fail to continue something that I've started, like, (God forbid) if I flunk Med School, I think I will become the most depressed person in the world, and I will never be genki forever. Because I will forever be a failure. And I was never a failure... //sad//
But! //smiles and pushes the bad thought away// I think I will just have to try even harder (yes, even in Surgery) to redeem myself. I actually don't feel so good about myself anymore. I've always tried to do my best in everything, but now, somehow I'm not being effective at all. I MUST TRY EVEN HARDER DE-SU!!! >.<
YOSH! Next week: I have a lab exam, a short quiz, a long exam, a case presentation and clinics. Darn. It will be my first time to examine a real patient and i have no idea how to do it! O_o My classmates who had clinics yesterday looked so drained and a bit traumatized. //fearful// I hope I don't get traumatized!!
Then the week after: lab exam, 2 long exams, a report in surgery, 2 written reports and, before the much-awaited break... our Christmas party de-su! ^____^ I wonder what I will get for Christmas? Ehehe ^^;; I actually need a new English dictionary but it doesn't seem right to ask for such an un-cute thing. ^^;; So I just wrote in the Class Christmas List that I want anime. //laughs// As if I ever wanted anything else in life. Well, i was tempted to write "the CD of Korean pop Group, S", but I doubt anyone in class knows them... Ehehehe ^^;; Me and my bishounens. //sheepish//
Oist! Speaking of bishounens, I saw my sempai yesterday!!! WEEEEEEE!!! I haven't seen him for months since he's a senior clerk now. He's totally kawaii!!! ^__^ We didn't talk or what (cos we're not friends, hehe) but when I signed on the attendance sheet (because it was the pep talk session for the scholars), I noticed that our names were next to each other!!! WEEEEEEE!!! I felt so happy that our family names are almost similar. //grins//
Anyway, I realized something today. Well, actually I already thought about it a few days/weeks back. It's HIMITSU de-su! But I still wanna say that...
I'm totemo ba-ka de-su!
That's all. >.<
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