O-hisashiburi de-su!! It has been more than four months since my last entry here. Gomen nasai!! I have really been too busy since senior clerkship started, and I did promise myself that I won’t blog until I’ve finished my rotations in my first two major departments. Well, now that I’ve done that, here I am, making a “comeback” (as what Koreans would probably say, LOL). And a nice comeback it is, since I am making history now by typing my first blog entry in a PC that I can proudly say:our own. Yup! Yup! After like 13 years of praying and waiting, we were finally able to purchase our very own PC. Yay! ^____^ My sister and I are just grateful to God for this blessing, cos He knows how addicted we both are to the PC. LOL And it’s just so strenuous surfing the net or doing school stuffs in internet cafes outside. Well, we won’t be doing that anymore from now on. **happy** Also, it’s so much fun teaching my parents how to use the PC. LOL Right now, my Papa and Mama are playing downloaded games like Text Twist, Dynomite, Collapse, Super Bounce Out!, etc etc, thanks to my sister who has been zealously downloading these games for my parents. **smiles to herself** This PC is really something my whole family is proud of. It’s a long story how we got it, but we’re just so happy and grateful. Thank You, Lord! ^___^
Well, to account where I’ve been for the past four months (as if anyone cares, LOLz), and to explain my long absence to people who actually read this blog (as if anyone actually reads this, LOLz XD), anou… I am now officially, since April 2005, a senior med clerk. D-UH?! This means that I am spending almost all of my time staying, or basically “living”, in the hospital for training and learning purposes. Since our med school does not have its own hospital, we complete our one year of medical clerkship in a 300-bed capacity, tertiary-level government hospital located in our city, which caters to the medical needs of (I think) the entire Region X. The workload for senior clerks here is quite a handful. In fact, sometimes we think our job description here includes doing even the duties of a nurse, a wardman, a janitor, a watcher… you name it, we do it. **sighs** It’s crazy really, yet, I’m not complaining. I’m not gonna get this kind of all-around training elsewhere, and whatever I am learning now will prepare me for my future responsibilities as a medical practitioner. Demo ne, most of the time, the workload totally drains me of all life force… XD XD
I spent the first two months (April-May) of my clerkship in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and I am proud to say that I can now handle normal deliveries and do episiorrhaphies on my own. I also assist in caesarian operations. I can also do pre-natal check ups, pap smear, etc. Perhaps to some these may sound amazing, but there really isn’t anything to be amazed about, since that is expected from us (in fact, I think MORE is even expected from us, XD). It wasn’t an easy journey though. Believe it or not, it took me around 3 weeks to actually overcome my fear and start doing and repairing episiotomies. I used to freak out when I see the anatomy of the birth canal all bloody and distorted and I would just freeze and not know where to start suturing (the suturing practice using the foam wasn’t that helpful at all, thank you very much XD). I don’t know when I was able to overcome this problem, but it just happened, and before I even realized it, delivering babies and suturing the birth canal became so natural for me and my groupmates. I must admit though that our suturing skills still need a lot of improvement, hehehe Not all people will be able to experience it, but to help bring out a new life into this world is such an incredible feeling. And when your patients actually thank you for the service you have rendered to them -- these are just some of my greater, inexplicable joys in life. **smiles** The downside in this rotation? Morning endorsements! X__x Imagine this picture: You have just spent all night up delivering babies and dealing with patients who are just not themselves (trust me, women in labor are definitely difficult to deal with! XD), and you don’t even have a chance to change your amniotic fluid-smelling, meconium-stained uniform or comb your not-so-balik-ayos hair, then you are (forcefully? LOL) placed in front of all the consultants and residents and subjected to querying and grilling about the case that you have haphazardly prepared, and when you can’t answer most of their questions since you’re too damn tired and sleepy and smelly, they tell you, with a bit(?) of sarcasm, “WHAT!?! YOU DON”T KNOW!?!” and then blah blah blah blah blah, they drone on and on that you’re just not thinking, or reading or, studying enough. EHHHH!?! I know it’s for our own good and benefit, but there is just no time to study especially when there are too many admissions! Anyway, since I’m what they call “delayed reaction”, I usually don’t get affected immediately by the stinging remarks made during endorsements. I think my blunt affect is also mostly due to the fact that I’m too tired and sleepy that even if they would all insult or belittle me, I probably wouldn’t even react, since my brain is too obtunded to actually understand any of the words they are saying XD. It’s funny, now that I look back at those times, because I’ve actually done so many blunders and eccentricities during endorsements that it would be quite embarrassing to actually even speak of them. LOL
Then for the month of June, I spent my first fifteen days in the Department of Orthopedics. Unlike in OB-GYNE where it’s always so busy and so toxic, the workload in Ortho is so much lighter and the endorsements quite benign. And unlike in OB-GYNE where majority of our consultants and residents were females, in Ortho our consultants and residents were (YEHEY!) males! LOL ^___^ Clerks in Ortho go on 24h duties alone with their residents, yet we hardly complain, because there are less patients, therefore more time to sleep and relax. LOL In Ortho, I learned to make casts and molds for fractures, and I had more time to read and study. I was hoping I could assist in or even just observe operations, like amputations of extremities or the placements of fixators, but unfortunately, I never got the chance. Too bad ne. ^o^
My next forty five days were then spent in the Department of Surgery, and… (YEHEY AGAIN!) …all our residents were males! LOL Seriously, at first I was uneasy in Surgery because I wasn’t used to their system and I wasn’t friends with any of the residents yet, but eventually I was able to adjust. And since the Surgery residents are quite an enthusiastic and fun group, you just can’t help but enjoy their company. And although I’ve noticed it when I was assisting caesarian sections before, but I was able to confirm in my Surgery rotation that I love the Operating Room!! Yes! I just love assisting in operations, be it a simple appendectomy or my record-breaking 15h-long thoracotomy. My most favorite surgical procedure is Explore Laparotomy for stab or gunshot wound patients. I love it when the surgeons open up the patient and not knowing which internal organs are affected, they quickly but thoroughly examine and repair the injuries. Strange as it may sound but I actually find this exciting! LOL And here’s another strange thought: I also love the Emergency Room! LOL Although I don’t love it as much as I love the OR, but in the ER I am first to receive very interesting patients, like vehicular accidents or gunshot or stab wound victims, and I am first in line to tend to their immediate medical needs. It is also in the ER where I get to suture open wounds, insert urinary catheters and nasogastric tubes, and just be in action. It’s really physically and mentally draining (especially since they say I’m “toxic”, and I tend to “attract” morbid patients XD), but at the same time, it is physically and mentally challenging as well. The downside in this rotation? Well, I don’t really like it when I’m assigned in the ward (someone always dies when I’m on ward duty!! XD toxic kasi ako!! LOL). And I also don’t like the OPD (Outpatient Department) that much. I know it’s for good and balanced learning experience, but I guess I really just prefer to be in the OR or ER. I’m crazy, yes, I know! LOL I’m thinking I might opt to be a surgeon (or believe it or not, obstetrician-gynecologist) in the future. I wonder what people will actually say about that, hehehe ^o^ Our group ended our rotation in the Surgery Department with a very enjoyable termination party at this karaoke-billiards joint, where we – clerks and residents – came together for a night of food, fun and camaraderie for the (hopefully not :c) last time.
Come the month of August, which is actually the month I’ve been waiting for because it means that I’m done with two major departments and my next rotation will be in minor departments! And the best thing about this is… WEEKENDS OFF and NO TWENTY FOUR HOUR DUTIES!!! **makes a stupid, silly dance** I spent the first fifteen days in Department of Psychiatry where we spend only an average of 5 hours per day just seeing psychiatric patients and prescribing medications. I think this has got to be the most relaxing rotation! I’ve been spending most of my time at home either watching CDs till dawn (so expect some review updates soon!!) or just sleeping, LOL. Too bad my rotation there ended yesterday, and now, I’m in Radiology and Sonology. But still no 24h duties and I have weekends off, so as long I can spend more time at home with my family and for myself, then that’s good enough for me. After all, it’s a well-deserved “break” from the four crazy months that I have been through. Yet even though it has been quite a rough ride, yet in my heart I am very thankful, because I have met so many people and gained so many memorable “experience points” in all these. I guess if my life is an RPG game, then I can probably say that I have reached a higher level, ne? And that’s what really counts. I want to always have a positive attitude in my life, and always see the positive side in all my undertakings. After all, this is God’s calling, I have to do my best ne?! Ganbarimasu!!! LOL ^________^
[INSERT: Incidentally, as I’m typing this, my background music now is a Chinese song by the awesome Taiwanese group FIR and it goes something like “Never be afraid… Do my best…” How appropriate! ^o^]
Lastly, I just want to share that last week I already submitted my application to three hospitals for post-graduate internship. I chose 2 hospitals in Manila and 1 in Cebu -- all were teaching hospitals. I don’t know if I made the right choices, or if I prayed enough, or if I really want to leave home. I just followed my instincts and crossed my fingers, hoping that I will be accepted in my first hospital of choice (guess where!?! ^___^). I don’t really understand how the system works, anyhoo, it’s another MAJOR event and decision-making in my life, and I hope that wherever I go, it is where God wants me to be.
[ about the title ]
The title of today’s blog entry is an English translation of KIMI GA NOZOMU EIEN, a Japanese anime I’ve watched recently. In a way, it reflects what I’ve been through the past few months, the state of my life today, and my future that is about to unfold. It speaks of the piffle princess desire to strive to become better, to do the very best, to fulfill that distant dream. It reminds me once again of who I am, what I’m here for, and what I should be doing. Today is once again a brand new day filled with limitless opportunities and endless possibilities, all paving the way for the eternity I wished for.
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