I hate incompetent people.
I hate works that are done haphazardly.
I hate this case presentation.
I hate the fact that my status is [previous], yet I cannot sleep.
I MUST NOT SLEEP.
I'm in a really FOUL mood. >__<
I'm grateful to God for the following...
1. coffee -- because it gives me the drive.
2. Gackt -- because his lovely soothing voice calms me.
3. my sempai -- because his presence keeps me cheerful.
I talked to sempai earlier today. Actually, he was the one who started the conversation. And actually, I didn't want to talk with him because my status is [previous] which is most of the time equivalent with [haven't taken a bath]. XD But he talked to me, how could I possibly resist? And just as I hoped so, he never did forget the "funny" incident of how we first got to know each other. We talked about that, I think for more than 5 minutes? Tee-hee. Not exactly our longest conversation, but one of the most memorable. But then, all our conversations are memorable for me. XD XD I doubt though if sempai knows my name. I think he doesn't, hahahaha
I can't help but like sempai though. After all, I don't have any control of how I feel. I just have control of what I do with what I feel.
Today is October 25. Less than a week before we part. The thought makes me extremely sad. I have been very extra-cheerful and extra-positive the whole month because of him. I guess nothing really lasts forever.
I love this not-so-new song by Gackt. It's practically what I listen to everyday. I want to sing this for sempai at this point in my life... LOL
(Missing ~Show me your smile~)
machikado de mitsuketa ano koro no kimi to yoku niteiru ushiro sugata
hitogomi ni afureta toori o nukedashite
ashibaya ni oikaketeita
The figure I saw from behind on the street corner looked just like you did then
I slip away from the street overflowing with crowds
And quickly chased after you
itsumo soba ni iru no ga atarimae to omotta ano koro ni wa
konna boku de sae aishitekureteta kimi made kizutsuketeta
"kimi o hanasanai... hanashitaku wa nai..."
ima demo todokimasu ka?
ano koro to kawaranu omoi ga...
At that time, I thought that you would always be by my side
I even kept hurting you who loved me
"I won't let you go... I won't want to let you go..."
Even now, does it reach you?
The feelings that haven't changed from that time
kizutsukeru koto de shika jibun no sonzai o kanjirarenai
oroka na boku
kurayami de obieta karada o dakishimetekureta koto
wasurenai yo
I only felt like I existed when I was hurt
My foolish self
You held me when I was afraid of the darkness
I won't forget that
kimi to hajimete deatta hi no koto o ima demo oboeteiru yo
shizuka na kaze ni kami o yurasenagara boku dake o mitsumeteta
kitto dare yori mo issho ni ireru to omotta kimi to nara
boku de sae waraeru to omotta
I still remember the day when I first met you
As the soft wind swung your hair, you looked just at me
You surely thought that I would be there with you more than anyone else
If I was with you, I thought that even I could smile
hanareru koto ga kore hodo tsurai koto da to
kizukanai furi shite kyou made hashiritsuzuketekita...
I didn't realize that letting go would be this painful
I pretended that and kept running until today....
boku ga kiete kara nakitsuzuketeita kimi ga shinpai datta kedo
boku no shiranai dareka to yorisotte aruku kimi o mitsuketa
sukoshi otona ni natta kimi wa motto suteki ni waratteta
mou nido to kimi wa nakanai de kimi wa nakanai de
egao o misete
You kept crying after I vanished, and I worried about you
But then I saw you walking close with someone I didn't know
You've grown up a bit, and laughed so beautifully
Never again, you won't cry again, you won't cry again
Show me your smile...
It's a damn sad song.
And I'm damn sick in the head. T______T
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