A Piffle Princess Story

ICHIGO ICHIE

I realized... that there are only two things that can make me do rapid involuntary blinking of my eyes.

1. Whenever a consultant asks me a question I couldn’t answer, and
2. Whenever I see my sempai.

Yep. After a long long time of not really thinking about him not really seeing him, I met him again... yesterday. It was inevitable. I had to go back to Maria Reyna to finish my charts. I knew there was a possibility of seeing him once again. I wanted to see him, yet I didn’t want him to see me. But as I said, it was inevitable. As if pre-ordained. That when I arrived at the ER, he came out from the ER-OR just in time to stand in front of me. Immediately, my mind picked up the image I was seeing in front of me: Young bishie – tired-looking but still adorable, shorter than me but who the heck cares – wearing a white shirt under his smock gown, looking all the more the surgeon he will soon become.

Of course, I feigned nonchalance. But the rapid involuntary blinking of my eyes said otherwise. Not to mention that I, as if by reflex, had to turn my head away from his direction. In a span of three seconds, I realized I was stripped of my pride and dignity. Of course he noticed. But he pretended to be indifferent as well.

When Hya and I started to leave the ER to go up to the Medical Records, we crossed paths again. This time I made sure I held my head up high in confidence. Hya said, “Hi, Doc!” so casually. And I, like a parrot, echoed the same words. BUT I SMILED. And... HE SMILED BACK... and then gave us a gentle pat on the shoulder. Hya first, because she was in front of me, then me. I almost laughed out loud in happiness. But I didn’t. Instead I absent-mindedly pushed Hya forward, and then started mumbling in gibberish. I told Hya that even if I like Dr Da-----, the first year surgery resident in NMMC, that feeling can’t even compare with how I felt, and will always feel, for my sempai. Dr Da----- doesn’t have even a slight chance at all if he stands next to my sempai. I will always like my sempai. Never mind that he doesn’t like me back. Never mind that I don’t even matter a single bit to him. It doesn’t matter because my heart chooses to like him. I cannot deny the reality of these emotions.
(By the way, excuse me while I gag at the absurdity of these statements. >.<)

Today I saw him again. But he didn’t see me. Or if he did, I acted as if I did not care. I think he wore a green shirt today. I’m not so sure because he was so far away. I guess I really should wear my glasses all the time. Hehehe ^___^

I still have 15 charts to finish in MRH, and then I will not have any reason to go back there again. I hope next time, for the last time, I can see my sempai again.