I almost panicked when I opened my blog and all I could see was a blank blue page staring back at me.
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what went wrong but that freakin' scared me. It's now fixed, but I really don't understand what happened.
Just like I don't understand why I still cannot download eXdream from Suoh-san's site after so many retries.
Just like I don't understand why my IDA is suddenly not functioning.
Just like I don't understand why on earth do I still have so many charts to finish.
Just like I don't understand why I have to re-type all the surgical techniques I previously submitted just because my resident decided to keep those papers which I now realize holds part of the key for my hospital clearance.
Just like I don't understand how I'm going to survive in Manila for a year knowing that I have a sleeping problem.
Just like I don't understand how I'm going to survive my first three weeks in Manila cos we just learned we will only be allowed inside the dorm two weeks after.
Just like I don't understand how I'm going to survive my one year in Manila with no definite sponsor for my expenses.
Just like I don't understand why my room is still not clean no matter how many times I try to clean it.
Just like I don't understand why I'm suddenly not posting in CDOtakus anymore.
Just like I don't understand why I keep burning cds I don't watch.
Just like I don't understand why I keep re-arranging my cds over and over and over again.
Just like I don't understand why I don't watch any of my cds now that I have free time.
Just like I don't understand why I sleep in the sala knowing that there are so many mosquitos at night.
Just like I don't understand why I still can't wake up early despite sleeping in the sala and getting many mosquito bites.
Just like I don't understand why I'm suddenly blogging at 3 o'clock in the morning.
I don't understand, but something is always wrong. And I think that something is wrong with me.
I suddenly lost part of my ... passion.
I'm like an unfeeling, uncontrolled robotic entity wandering aimlessly with no goal.
Perhaps Dr Baclig was right when she looked deep into my eyes and said I have low energy and need to get out more, do taichi or yoga exercises, and yes, stay away from the PC which apparently is zapping away some of my life force.
I blame the TV too.
And the bed. But I don't have a bed. So the futon then.
I blame Lucky Me instant pansit canton too. Because I initially lost a lot of weight a year ago. Now I gained even more weight than before. My aunt was even shocked to see me. Shocked. Feh.
I am a sedentary person with a higher than normal BMI. I wish what's higher than normal was my IQ instead. I have a family history of hypertension, diabetes mellitus, dyslipidemia and obesity. I am definitely a good candidate for Syndrome X. I often sit still and stare blankly at the wall. I probably like sleeping too, since that's what I unconsciously do all the time. I'm probably narcoleptic. I want to see Dr Go soon. I probably need pyschiatric help. Or maybe I just want to see him again because he's good looking.
Yes, I'm rambling again. I don't understand why I'm spontaneously typing random phrases that apparently make no sense.
There is probably something wrong. I guess there is always something wrong with me.
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