A Piffle Princess Story

IT ALL STARTED WITH ONE BROKEN TOOTH.

I've always had teeth problems before, so I've been trying to keep them clean and healthy. But maybe it's genetics or something, but I feel like my efforts are wasted. Three or four months ago, one of my teeth broke. I think it's a premolar. Since it wasn't really aching, so I wasn't really alarmed. Smaller pieces kept breaking off, but I still didn't go to the dentist. Then one day, I noticed this:

There was a swelling in my gums!!!⊙▂⊙

I'm thinking that my gingiva must have developed an infection and grew an abscess because of my broken tooth. I immediately took some antibiotics and vowed to see the dentist ASAP. A week after, the swelling subsided, and I ... got busy. （。-＿-。）

More than a month after, the swelling recurred. I took antibiotics again, and the swelling subsided. Then there was one afternoon when I went to the dentist's clinic already, and waited for him for more than an hour. But when he arrived, I chickened out, feigned some excuse and left. ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ

Two Fridays ago, I got stuck in traffic then drenched from the rain. And the day after, we had an event in the local mall, and I was already feeling feverish but then the show must go on. That day I also promised myself that I really need to go see the dentist for tooth extraction, so I started myself on prophylactic antibiotics just to be sure that there are no more bacteria hanging around my gums. The new medicine was stronger than the previous antibiotics I took, but pretty soon I was down with fever, chills, weakness and body pains. I had scheduled work for every day of last week so I was hoping that it was just the flu. Unfortunately, it was not.

I had fever and chills for five days. I developed a really bad case of tonsilitis where my tonsils look really nasty with all the erythema and whitish exudates. My gums also developed some pus, and I had several sores inside my mouth, my lips, my palate and even my tongue! It was really horrible! I couldn't eat at all! Since I still needed to work, I had to force myself up everyday, treating patients as if I myself was not one. I took Paracetamol religiously every three hours, cos if I had to wait for four hours, I would start having chills. I added another type of antibiotics to my self-imposed regimen. And I slept every time I had the chance. I must have slept more this entire week than I'd have normally slept in a month!

It was really a very unpleasant experience that I cannot even begin to put into words. Many times I really just thought that I needed to be confined to a hospital, but I didn't have the money and I needed to make money, so I had to push back tears and feelings of self-pity and go on with my pathetic life. Last Wednesday, I was lying in the bed with chills, and I was texting people if they could cover for me the next day. But all I got were replies of "Sorry!" and "Get well soon!". I didn't want well wishes, I needed someone to actually see me as a friend and actually help me when I was in that sick state. But apparently this world is cruel, and what's even more horrible is that there are some people, despite knowing that I was really sick, even had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to relieve them from their work! I swear, at that time, I was really telling myself that if I was not a Christian, I would probably believe that there is no God.

But thank God that He does exist, and that He is the Ultimate Healer, and that He is in control! That Wednesday evening, He allowed me to sleep for eight hours (no patients at all!), and then when I woke up, my fever was gone. I had no choice but worked again for another 24 hours in another hospital, and it was thankfully another benign duty, and by then I was already feeling much better. My only problem was that I still couldn't eat because of my mouth sores. Every time a food particle grazes my palate, or tongue, or the walls of my mouth, it was excruciatingly painful. I had to give away my meals to the nurses, and sadly just attempt to eat the desserts. I mulled on the many times in the past when I took my meals for granted. It made me see food and the act of eating in a very new light.

Friday came, and I was already on the road to recovery. I just needed to finish one last night of duty then I can finally have several days of rest from work. I was riding the jeepney then, when I noticed that my arms were a bit red. When I arrived home after 40 minutes, I was already covered from head to trunk to both arms with rashes.

I had measles.

And you think that by contracting a contagious viral disease I could finally be given a rest from work. But, NO. Once I confirmed by blood test that it was not Dengue Fever and I need not be admitted to a hospital, I had to put on a jacket and mask and report to work cos nobody else could cover for me. I didn't even have the time to take pity on myself cos that would make me late. And yes, even when some people knew that I developed rashes, they still asked me if I would like to relieve them from their duties.（；¬＿¬)

I've always been a workaholic and I never squirm from my responsibilities. I don't often get sick, and even if I do get the common cough or colds, I'd still work if I have made commitments. But last week was JUST HORRIBLE! I was very sick and I had all the physical findings to support it. I was really scared because, as a medical doctor, I knew the possible consequences of my self-medication and my refusal to be confined to a hospital. Yet I had to endure all of these because there are bills to be paid and food to be set on the table. But even when I finally reached my limit, everyone was too selfish and too concerned with his/her own world to actually care. I was broken physically, but what hurts me more is the brokenness I felt mentally, socially and emotionally.

The rashes are fading, the mouth sores are healing, the exudates are gone. But I do wonder if my faith in humanity can ever be restored. (~_~;)