A Piffle Princess Story

BEJEWELED PHILOSOPHY

Recently, I have been wasting most of my time by playing this Facebook app called Bejeweled Blitz. Now I know I swore off playing Facebook games some time ago, and I do feel bad about turning back on my word. It's no excuse, really, but I guess lately I have been quite stressed by several things in my life. I just want to do something mindless and I thought that since this is just a one-minute game, it's not gonna take up too much of my time.

Boy, was I so wrong! Each round is indeed a minute long but it's so addicting, and I'd feel very competitive, so I ended up playing for more than 12 hours straight during my second try! (ﾉ￣д￣)ﾉ And I've been playing for more than a week now. I play until 3 or 4 in the morning until my eyes are all blurry, my right hand all numb, and my wrist so sore I can hardly move it. ヘ(>_<ヘ)

Well, I've always been a fan of the Bejeweled franchise, and Bejeweled Blitz is basically similar to them except that there's a time limit of one minute. And in that single minute, you need to score as much as you can by matching at least three gems and multipliers of the same color. When you make successive and fast matches, you can get speed bonuses and even reach a mode called Blazing Speed (which is my favorite! ^u^) which will give you more points. There are also a number of power-ups to choose from that will also help you score better, but these will cost you coins, and that's something I often do not have. So what I do is I keep playing and playing and when I save up enough coins, I splurge on booze boosts to try to beat my own score. Most of the time I fail so it's back to square one again. And it doesn't help that my friends' scores are posted on the right side. Some of them can actually score millions! ━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

So tonight I was playing as usual, then I suddenly had an insight on how the game is similar to my life. Several times when I swap gems, I'd realize a split-second too late that I could have made a flame gem or a hypercube instead. Or sometimes when I choose to match one set instead of another, I'd end up with a whole board of gems that can no longer be connected. And during such moments, I'd instantly regret the previous move that I just did, since I'd end up with results that I don't like.

Similarly in my life, I think I've also made my share of crazy and impulsive decisions. And looking back, some of them could have been wrong choices. Though it has always been my principle never to sulk or cry over spilled milk but to always learn from my mistakes, but I am learning that my actions have consequences. And these effects may not always be immediate. Especially for someone as dense as me, I may only realize the impact of the outcome when it's already far too late. And like Bejeweled Blitz, I'd end up with a whole board of useless gems.

Take for instance my career and where it is headed for nowhere right now. Thinking back, I should have gone into residency training immediately after passing the board exams. Or I could have taken up that slot when I was accepted in this prestigious hospital. I would have been finished by now. But during those times, I chose to match 3 gems instead of making star gems. I ignored the multipliers and focused on other colors. And now that the time has finally started ticking, I realize that I do not know how to move anymore. Like right now, most of my classmates have already chosen their paths in life. Those who are several batches younger than me have submitted their application forms and already got their schedules for pre-residency. I'm still... playing Bejeweled Blitz. (╯︵╰,)

This is not just about my work but basically about every aspect of my life. It's like I'm exhausted for no particular reason. I've lost my sense of direction. I have no motivation. I have no vision. The future eludes me (or is it the other way around?). I'm not saying that I regret whatever I did in the past. On the contrary, I know I had my reasons, and perhaps, I found them to be valid and wise back then. Right now, I do not wish to dwell on such things anymore for they can no longer be changed. I can no longer turn back the time and cannot undo what has been done. I must accept the pitiful score I have. I must put up with the fact that I have no more coins and power-ups to save me. I must acknowledge that others have already surpassed me in so many ways.

But just like the game, I know it doesn't end there because I can always restart and play again. I may not have much right now but I can try and try again until I have more. I can practice until I improve. I can defeat my old self and catch up to the others. I can make better choices. I must make wiser decisions. I can move on. I must move forward.


And, ironically, it all starts by ending my long nights of playing Bejeweled Blitz. (─‿‿─)