BEJEWELED PHILOSOPHY

Recently, I have been wasting most of my time by playing this Facebook app called Bejeweled Blitz. Now I know I swore off playing Facebook games some time ago, and I do feel bad about turning back on my word. It's no excuse, really, but I guess lately I have been quite stressed by several things in my life. I just want to do something mindless and I thought that since this is just a one-minute game, it's not gonna take up too much of my time.

Boy, was I so wrong! Each round is indeed a minute long but it's so addicting, and I'd feel very competitive, so I ended up playing for more than 12 hours straight during my second try! (ﾉ￣д￣)ﾉ And I've been playing for more than a week now. I play until 3 or 4 in the morning until my eyes are all blurry, my right hand all numb, and my wrist so sore I can hardly move it. ヘ(>_<ヘ)

Well, I've always been a fan of the Bejeweled franchise, and Bejeweled Blitz is basically similar to them except that there's a time limit of one minute. And in that single minute, you need to score as much as you can by matching at least three gems and multipliers of the same color. When you make successive and fast matches, you can get speed bonuses and even reach a mode called Blazing Speed (which is my favorite! ^u^) which will give you more points. There are also a number of power-ups to choose from that will also help you score better, but these will cost you coins, and that's something I often do not have. So what I do is I keep playing and playing and when I save up enough coins, I splurge on booze boosts to try to beat my own score. Most of the time I fail so it's back to square one again. And it doesn't help that my friends' scores are posted on the right side. Some of them can actually score millions! ━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

So tonight I was playing as usual, then I suddenly had an insight on how the game is similar to my life. Several times when I swap gems, I'd realize a split-second too late that I could have made a flame gem or a hypercube instead. Or sometimes when I choose to match one set instead of another, I'd end up with a whole board of gems that can no longer be connected. And during such moments, I'd instantly regret the previous move that I just did, since I'd end up with results that I don't like.

Similarly in my life, I think I've also made my share of crazy and impulsive decisions. And looking back, some of them could have been wrong choices. Though it has always been my principle never to sulk or cry over spilled milk but to always learn from my mistakes, but I am learning that my actions have consequences. And these effects may not always be immediate. Especially for someone as dense as me, I may only realize the impact of the outcome when it's already far too late. And like Bejeweled Blitz, I'd end up with a whole board of useless gems.

Take for instance my career and where it is headed for nowhere right now. Thinking back, I should have gone into residency training immediately after passing the board exams. Or I could have taken up that slot when I was accepted in this prestigious hospital. I would have been finished by now. But during those times, I chose to match 3 gems instead of making star gems. I ignored the multipliers and focused on other colors. And now that the time has finally started ticking, I realize that I do not know how to move anymore. Like right now, most of my classmates have already chosen their paths in life. Those who are several batches younger than me have submitted their application forms and already got their schedules for pre-residency. I'm still... playing Bejeweled Blitz. (╯︵╰,)

This is not just about my work but basically about every aspect of my life. It's like I'm exhausted for no particular reason. I've lost my sense of direction. I have no motivation. I have no vision. The future eludes me (or is it the other way around?). I'm not saying that I regret whatever I did in the past. On the contrary, I know I had my reasons, and perhaps, I found them to be valid and wise back then. Right now, I do not wish to dwell on such things anymore for they can no longer be changed. I can no longer turn back the time and cannot undo what has been done. I must accept the pitiful score I have. I must put up with the fact that I have no more coins and power-ups to save me. I must acknowledge that others have already surpassed me in so many ways.

But just like the game, I know it doesn't end there because I can always restart and play again. I may not have much right now but I can try and try again until I have more. I can practice until I improve. I can defeat my old self and catch up to the others. I can make better choices. I must make wiser decisions. I can move on. I must move forward.


And, ironically, it all starts by ending my long nights of playing Bejeweled Blitz. (─‿‿─)

KASHIWA BARA

Although I love video games, but I was never the gamer type, and back then was never convinced to buy a gaming console for myself. The only gaming device I own is a Nintendo Family Computer, which we've had since I was like 5(?) years old, and which I'm proud to say, still works perfectly even as of this time of writing. My sister was the one who loves to play, and when she was still a kid, she'd spend the whole day at our neighbor's house watching and playing with their SEGA Dreamcast, and eventually their Playstation1. Then when my sister was in high school, she borrowed her classmate's Game Boy, and she lets me play Pokemon Yellow on it sometimes. Later on, my sister brought home a PS1 console (borrowed from her then boyfriend, now her ex), but I was more contented in watching her play, rather than me at the controller. The reason perhaps is that she hogs the controller  I'm not very skillful at any kinds of games, have a bad sense of direction, and have poor motor coordination. I really envy gamers who have very fast reflexes and can deliver multiple combo techniques. I can never seem to understand how to do all those stuffs! <(◎o◎)>

So eventually when my sister started working, and earning her own money, she got involved in playing Monster Hunter 2nd Generation with her officemates, which prompted her to buy her own PSP. When she comes home for the holidays, she lets me play with it, though I could hardly slay a velociprey back then (I'm such a loser TAT). She was telling me to buy my own unit, so that we could play together, but I wasn't that interested and thought it was useless for me.

Later on, I met another friend who also owns a PSP. Curiosity prompted me to ask her why she bought a PSP when she's hardly the gamer type, and she said it was a gift from her grandmother. I pressed further and asked her the game titles she plays, and she laughed and said, "Oh I don't have any games here. This is just 8GB worth of manga scanlations!"

Wait...whut!?!? You can read manga with the PSP!?!?! It was then that I got REALLY INTERESTED and started keeping an eye out to buy one for myself.

It wasn't until the last quarter of 2009 when I finally got the chance to purchase a PSP. My sister was staying in Japan for three months, and she was telling me that they were selling second hand PSPs in Akihabara for almost half the usual price. Although they were allegedly used, but they looked like they've never been taken out of the box! So I told her to get me one. Well, actually two, since my boyfriend also wanted to get one for himself. Suoh and I were so excited we decided to name our (couple) PSPs Akiha and Bara. Sadly, due to firmware problems, my sister only brought home one unit for me, and since she bought it from Kashiwa, I changed my PSP's name to Kashiwa Bara. Suoh bought his unit from Greenhills instead, and his silver PSP is aptly named Akiha Greenhills. >__<

Bara-chan!!!  @>-->--

My unit is the PSP-2000 version, and the color is purple. My favorite color is yellow, so my sister threw in a yellow handstrap from Japan (which I've never washed x__x). My boyfriend's dad gave me a set of PSP accessories that Christmas of 2009, and ever since, my PSP's been housed in a crystal case. Well, up until around last week that is. It was kinda broken already so I decided to remove it (That was also the first time, after more than 2 years, that I cleaned the external part of my PSP, ehehe~ ^^;).

Bara-chan and I have made many beautiful memories together. As my original goal, I have used her to read manga scanlations, most unforgettable of which were Koukou Debut, Penguin Revolution and Strobe Edge. There was also a time that I used it to play my mp3s whenever I travel by bus to work. I also store lovely anime images in it which I use as references whenever I feel like drawing. And yes, I use it to play my animes! It's so much lighter to carry around in my travels, and also a lot less conspicuous when I'm watching videos while at work. (^_~)-☆

And though not much of a gamer, but I do play games with it! The first game I tried was of course, Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. Sadly, even with Suoh helping me out whenever he has the chance, I am terrible in it and have resorted to become a mushroom hunter instead.（￣□￣；） I've tried many other games, but the ones that I really enjoy are turn-based RPGs like Mana Khemia. Another game that I really love is Gods Eater Burst, and what's so memorable about this is that I have already spent more than 50 hours on this game when my file was suddenly corrupted! But because I love it so much, I played it all over again! (Talk about stubborn determination!) Recently, I've tried my hand in Corpse Party, Uta no Prince-sama Music and Hakuoki: Demon of the Fleeting Blossom. I'll most probably write more about these last two games later on.

Bara-chan has been a most wonderful companion for the last two years. And even with the PSVita out now in the market, I won't be trading her for any other consoles in the world. （*´▽｀*）

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!!?!?

January 30 - Bus Travel (3 hours) ; Hospital (24 hours duty)
January 31 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 1 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 2 - Hospital (8 hours duty)
February 3 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 4 - Hospital (8 hours duty)
February 5 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 6 - Bus Travel (3 hours) ; Company Clinic (2 hours duty)
February 7 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 8 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 9 - Company Clinic (16 hours duty)
February 10 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 11 - * OFF *
February 12 - * OFF *
February 13 -Bus Travel (3 hours) ; Hospital (24 hours duty) 
February 14 - Hospital (8 hours duty)
February 15 - Hospital (24 hours duty)
February 16 - Hospital (8 hours duty); Bus Travel (4.5 hours)
February 17 - Company Clinic (16 hours duty)
February 18 - Company Clinic (16 hours)

*edited sked 

For the life of me, I don't know how I ended up with this work schedule! It's not like I'm obsessed with my job or that I'm in dire need of money! But here it is, my ultimate suicidal work sked. (Well, I used to do alternate 24h-8h shifts for 36 days too, but that didn't include frequent traveling by bus!)

For the first three days, I didn't have a resident partner at work so our Internal Medicine consultant volunteered to help me out. Still, it was quite embarrassing to have your consultant do the measly jobs, so I kinda volunteered to go on that 72hour duty. The mornings were busy, but I got to sleep a few hours at night, albeit I was being called every now and then whenever patients arrived in the ER. It was pretty stressful and so whenever I had the chance (and not asleep), I drank successive cups of vendo-machine coffee and played my PSP. I am a living evidence that getting drunk on caffeine while violently tapping PSP buttons to Uta no Prince-sama Music is a guaranteed way to keep the mind alert and focused!!! It does have a limit though, and by the third night I was so groggy that I could no longer understand what I was doing. There was this instance when a nurse referred something to me, and I swear, I must have stared for more than 15 minutes at the patient's chart and all I could see were imaginary Δ [] X buttons which I kept pressing with my fingers. The nurse must have been flabbergasted with mouth agape!!! >__<;

Despite the crazy days, the toothaches, the headaches and the feverish spells, I somehow survived the first part of this ordeal. I just need to hang on for a couple of days, and hopefully by the end of this wretched sked, I can finally watch some animes, do some sketches, blog some more, and get a much deserved rest.

THE FRIGHT FRUSTRATION BEFORE CHRISTMAS



I was playing The Fright Before Christmas which is an online flash game featuring Cartoon Network's characters -- Mandy, Billy and Grim -- fighting off evil toys. Each character is equipped with a specific weapon -- i.e. Mandy with an assault weapon which she throws at the enemy; Billy with a frosticle that temporarily stops the movement of enemy; and Grim with a vacuum cleaner that sucks the gear-like remnants of the toys which would serve as money to upgrade their equipment. The evil toys include red devilish balloons, mini green robots, flying teddy bears, ugly ventriloquist puppets, dolls with a propeller heads, jacks-in-the-box, and all sorts of other playthings.




The gameplay is pretty simple. You use the mouse to aim and shoot, and the space bar to change characters. It starts off really easy, but later on it will be hard to fend off the enemies that will attack you in clusters. And sometimes, even upgrading your weapon may not necessarily mean that it would improve your play because some weapons are quite difficult to manipulate. The main objective here is to ward off the evil toys and protect those eight candles from going out. It's an addicting game, and I have played it twice before, and each game would last for more than one hour (almost two...) but I never really got to finish it.

So I played again tonight, trying to see how far I'd go and hoping I'd be able to play until the end. I already played for maybe more than 90 minutes, and was quite confident because I was doing pretty well, and... in my hurried frenzy of moving the mouse to shoot at the evil toys, I ACCIDENTALLY MOVED THE CURSOR TOO FAR AND IT SOMEHOW CLICKED ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED LINK WHICH PROMPTED THE ENTIRE PAGE TO RELOAD!!! I couldn't imagine the dismay on my face when I realized my mistake. I WAS ALREADY ON LEVEL 29!!!! I can't believe I just ended my game just like that... I feel so frustrated right now!!! *cries* T__T

I really should stay away from online flash games. They are pretty useless and take up too much of my time which should have been spent on cleaning my room or watching my DVDs.

But still... I WAS ALREADY ON LEVEL 29....!!!!! *cries* T__T

MORE FLASH GAMES!


I was challenged to an online fight by chi and ended up registering in http://mybrute.com/. XD


MyBrute is an online flash game wherein you can choose a character, and level him/her up by joining tournaments and fighting other characters online. You can play up to three games per day (I think), and as you level up, you get random weapons and skills. You get to choose your opponents, but you don't control the fights though since they are generated automatically. It's a fun game, and it's something I look forward to everyday (because I'm quite a sucker when it comes to leveling up... I want to level up really fast!!! XD)


This is my character, misakichi14. I must admit I didn't really meticulously browse through the whole set of choices
when I decided to pick her as my character. You can't personally customize the appearance of your character, but there are a lot to choose from so it's fine. You can challenge me to a fight by clicking on this link:

http://misakichi14.mybrute.com

From there I was led to another game called DINO-RPG, where you get to buy a creature called Dinoz,
and you level them up by engaging in new battles that can be generated every 1-2hours. Although not as fun as MyBrute, but still,
it's another way to waste time in front of the PC. XD


I chose a scorpion-like Dinoz from a race called Winks, and named it Banana. No particular reason for the name, I was just being random. XD There are other cute creatures and you can buy as many Dinoz as you want as long as you have the gold to pay for it.
I just don't know if they can change their appearance as they level up or finish quests.


And lastly, here's another flash game which I learned about from an ad in cinemax. This month, they are airing this movie called TRUE BLOOD which is about a vampire-slaying waitress (yah... ryt...>.<). And although I haven't seen the movie yet but it somehow reminds me of Twilight. Hehehe. Anyway, if you visit their website at:
http://cinemaxasia.com/trueblood
You can then play a three-level versus game called Fang Fighter. Unlike MyBrute, this requires very active participation. XD
I tried the game and it became quite difficult but I somehow managed to finish it, scoring about 30-something thousand points.
I thought it was a high score until I learned that other players can score even up to 60 thousand plus! *fail*


The reason why I played the game and I want to score high is because it's a contest.
By May, the people from Cinemax/HBO shall announce the top three scores and give away these awesome prizes...


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!

I don't think I can win though, but I really won't know until I try and try and try right? *winks*

Let's Play and Have Some FUN!!!

NEW ADDICTION: ONLINE FLASH GAMES

Yesterday (or was it the other day?), I discovered a directory of free flash games in http://www.y3.com/. Now I'm hooked. XD

This site offers various games, from Dress Up Games (which was the main reason I checked the site out), to various shooting games, and even games reminiscent of the Nintendo FamiCom console.

Dress Up Games
[click here to choose and play]


I really like Dress Up Games because they remind me of paper dolls which I used to make and play with when I was still a kid.
I can literally spend hours mixing and matching these girls with their various fashionable clothing and accessories.

These are some of my fashion creations... Hehehe...



Shooting Games

I also love playing shooting games, especially the kinds that involve shooting down the undead. XD
Recently I took this test: The Caffeine Click Test, and learned that I can click the mouse 168 times in thirty seconds,
earning me this "award"...


Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

So because of this test, I felt confident in playing the shooting games, especially this game called, Hungry are the Dead,
which started out quite easy but the clicking ability of my finger eventually took its toll, and I ended up with this...


It's actually pretty fun, so why don't you try it yourself? XD




And there are even games there like Dance Dance Revo, King of Fighters, Naruto, and check this out...



CONTRA!!!
I used to play this game a lot with my cousins. I wasn't very good at it but I was able to play it until the end (the alien's lair...) thanks to down-down-up-up-down-up-FORTY LIVES-yay!!! **LMAO!** I bet a lot of the younger generation can't relate to what I'm talking about but suffice it to say that I still think 2D games are absolutely FTW! (and you're hearing that from someone who cannot navigate/walk properly and just totally sucks at 3D games XD).

It's really amazing how these people can make these kinds of fun flash games. I'm really very thankful for these kinds of online games and they're FREE! Who says nothing in this life is free? *winks*

And while we're talking about Flash Animations, I'd like to plug my deviantart crush *ahem* one of the most inspiring DA artists... http://johnsu.deviantart.com. He makes some of the most amazing and funny works in DA. It's just impossible not to follow his works and enjoy his wicked sense of humor. \(^o^)/

GAMING IS EVIL.

Earlier this week, I said that I need to do a lot of things. I have to finish three anime series ASAP because I have to return them on Friday, and I have to clean my messy room because that's the right thing to do. But all I've been doing from morning to night is stare blankly at the PC, while leveling up characters and acquiring better weapons and armors.



I'm talking about my current addiction to playing AVEYOND 2: EAN'S QUEST, an RPG from Amaranth Games. I've played the first quest before (which took up a lot of my time), and now I'm into it again. When I open the PC in the morning to start my downloads, I try not to waste time by playing, but I end up playing and wasting time anyway. I know. I know. It's really a bad thing. T___T

This is also a similar situation when I started playing Ragnarok Online and also when my sister came home and "bribed" me with her PSP so that she can use the internet 24/7. I'm not really much of a gamer (I have poor coordination skills and poor sense of direction 0__o), but I enjoy uncovering clues and solving puzzles. I'm very meticulous when it comes to details, so I like leveling up my characters to the max and equipping them with the best armors and weapons. I also like to build up the relationships between the characters and I am wicked when it comes to collecting money and items. I take a lot of time exploring each place, and I revisit it two or thee times just to make sure I don't miss out on anything. It doesn't matter how many times I have to defeat the frogs and the snakes, I have to MUST collect ALL those money and experience points!!!

I'm even thinking about buying a PSP for myself, not really because I like to play, but because I can use it to read manga. But I think I'd eventually end up playing Monster Hunter anyway (and carve calluses on my thumbs trying to kick some Bulldrome butts). But right now that's just a distant dream because it's not really important (and quite expensive...). I mean, if I will buy a PSP then I'd rather save up for a laptop or a Sony Bravia, which would be a whole lot useful for my family, and not just for me.

I don't really want to spend majority of my life playing. I want my existence to be more meaningful. And so I should be going out there doing something relevant (or whatever), like perhaps do some community work or exercise to lose some weight and promote health awareness blah blah blah. But I am just too S E D E N T A R Y. My contentment and joy simply comes from just being able to use the computer and TV, and my labor consists of scrolling/clicking the mouse or pressing the forward-play button in the remote control. Heck, I don't even read books or draw anymore, let alone clean my room, do the chores or leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e. I have to work). Indeed, I am really quite THE BOMB BUM. >__<

I hope when I have kids in the future, they don't grow up like me. I hope they indulge themselves in sports and music and the arts and literature. I hope they develop well-rounded personalities and have more physical/social/spiritual awareness. I hope they know how to balance between discipline and fun, between work and play.


* AHEM! * (off topic already) * AHEM! *


Initially, I just wanted to rant about how I'm enjoying Aveyond 2, and how I plan to make fanarts out of the characters. But this turned out to be one random emo entry. LOL Anyway, I'd like to introduce you to the Aveyond 2 characters...



Ean Okho (The Shapeling)
Iya Tiki (The Singer)
Rye Zoyle (The Ranger)
Emma Willow (The Fighter)
Nicolas Pendragon (The White Mage)
Gavin Moren (The Warlock)
Ava One Eye (The Pirate)
Jack (The Thief)

As you can see, there's not much reference for drawing here. But since I'm burning with so much passion for this game right now, I might really just make a fanart or two. As long as my sedentary lifestyle won't overcome my priorities... As long as time will permit me... As long as I stop making excuses... As long as...




* goes back to playing * ^__~