A VERY DELAYED EXPLANATION



HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!


First of all, last Friday was Teachers Day at Hosanna Academy. We got to go home earlier than usual because Pastor Chung decided to treat us to an early dinner at Cafe Laguna. YEY! Lucky! ^o^


Anyway, now on to the main topic for the day... I think it's high time I gave an explanation for my long absence since April to November. I'm sure some people have been wondering what happened to me the past 8 months. *bows in apology* Gomen nasai... Well, here's a quick timeline:


APRIL 01 - went to Ozine Fest con. I won't put up the pics anymore since that's already history. Suffice it to say that suoh-san, xypherzx and I had a grand time (and I got to wear a Ranma shirt XD).

APRIL 24 - had chickenpox on my last week of internship. Had to be absent for almost 2 weeks! o___0 I had to do a few days of extension and make-up exams. I even went on straight 48-hour duty at the PGH Ambulatory Care. It was a very depressing time for me. I wasn't able to finish my internship on schedule, and on top of it all, I looked horrible with all the scars all over my face and arms. u___u

MAY 7 - moved out of PGH Nurses Home Dormitory. I was the last intern to move out. Transferred to my new "home" in Fairview, Quezon City, where most of my classmates were already staying.

MAY 10 - settled all paperworks and requirements in PGH. Official end of internship for ME (since it ended on May 1 for everybody else).

MAY 17 - Internship Commencement Program and Graduation of UP-Medicine batch 2007 held at Meralco Theatre. Still with some scars on my face (ugh!). It was probably the last time I'll see these people who helped me through and made it a very exciting year for me.

CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU...
Eric, Grettel, Diana, Karl, Sarah, Pia, Rona, Rory, Vernon
(Block X Interns, UP-Philippine General Hospital, 2007)

MAY to AUGUST - reviewed for the Physician Licensure Exam. Perhaps the most awful three months of my life. I just sat and studied for the entire day for three months. I consumed a box of extra strong coffee every 2 days. I used up gadzillions of highlighters and colored pens to make notes. I fought with friends over the most insignificant things. And I read my Bible diligently, prayed faithfully, fasted religiously and battled my fears and temptations everyday. It's difficult to explain, but it was a crazy experience that I would never want to undergo ever again.

MAY 28 - JUNE 3 - review classes at UP Manila.

AUGUST 4, 5, 11, and 12 - Board Exam Days. Almost didn't finish the first exam (Biochemistry) because my watch suddenly stopped and I lost track of time. XD Took antacids like candy to calm down my gastric jitters. Thought all the exams were just plain crazy.

AUGUST 15, 9pm - learned from the internet that I passed the board exams and that I'm already a licensed physician! YEY! 'Nuff said. ^_________^

AUGUST 18 - went home to CDO. I will miss a lot of my favorite places in Metro Manila. After all, I stayed there for more than a year. But what I'm missing most is suoh-san. We won't be seeing each other for a while. *sad* u_____u

AUGUST to SEPTEMBER - i'm just a BUM. XD

SEPTEMBER 28 - oathtaking ceremony at Grand Caprice. Went to karaoke joint with friends afterwards.

OCTOBER 1 to present - Started working as a community physician at Hosanna Cham Clinic in Libona, Bukidon. It's a free clinic funded by korean missionaries. The place is a 30-minute ride away from my city. My schedule is Mondays to Fridays, 8am to 2pm. Since Hosanna Academy is also within the compound, so I'm also the school physician. Sometimes, on weekends and holidays, I am called to do reliever duties in hospitals like Tagoloan Polymedic General Hospital and Balingasag Roa Medical Clinic. I'm happy that I'm now able to earn some money and be able to provide some financial help to my parents.

Although it's not a good training ground, but I am happy with my work, because it is not at all toxic. I get to have a lot of free time to read and draw, as well as watch my CDs. These are some things I haven't really enjoyed during the past years in medical school, and at least I have some time for myself and my family now. So far, these are some of my "accomplishments"... XDXDXD

DRAMAS: Smiling Pasta, Devil Beside You, Tokyo Juliet
ANIMES: Rozen Maiden, W-Wish, Digicharat Winter Garden, Shakugan no Shana, Utawarerumono, Higurashi no Naku Koko ni, Elfen Lied, Tsukuyomi Moonphase, Gakuen Alice, Love Hina Again
BOOKS/MANGAS: Nodame Cantabile volumes 1-9, Forbidden Dance volumes 1-2 and 4, Mahoromatic volume 1, Kouga Ninja Scrolls, Neverwhere, Anansi Boys, Good Omens, The Last Temptation of Alice Cooper, The Giver,The Alchemist, The Midnight Club, The Stars Shine Down

Currently watching: Samurai Champloo, Ginban Kaleidoscope, Saiunkoku Monogatari
Currently reading: The Tailor of Panama

I know. My pace is a little slow. Hehehe But I'll keep you updated.

So I guess it's bye bye for now.

BATTLE CITY



Remember that Nintendo Family Computer game we used to play as kids called BATTLE CITY? (Yessssss... I'm sure you played FamiCom games too! I am NOT THAT OLD YET! LOL XD) Well, to my delight, some wiseass actually decided to nickname the PGH Pedia ER as BATTLE CITY! ROFLMAO XD

I was Pedia ER reliever yesterday. It was actually my second time to relieve those Pedia interns on actual ER duty, but since yesterday was a weekend, I has to go on a 13-h reliever duty instead of the usual 9-h weekday reliever duty. My partner Rona and I dreaded going there so much, but duty calls forced us to go. And upon arrival, BATTLE CITY DID look like BATTLE CITY, with so many wailing kids and yakking moms all over the place. We were immediately greeted with a pileful of lab requests for gadzillions of blood extractions. Woohoo. T.T

So like the tanks in the BATTLE CITY game, Rona and I "fought" our enemies, "blasted" those tanks, "moved" around the place and "protected our camp" (translation: we argued with mothers, hooked IV lines and extracted blood like crazy, hurried all over the Pedia-ER to monitor those yapping kidz, and made sure we completed all our tasks). We fought hard and long (from 2pm to 3am), and we were badly beaten and bruised till our bodies went numb from head to foot because of the extreme physical pain and emotional drain. I was amazed that at 2AM, Rona still had the strength to smile sarcastically at the complaining father whose son we were poking with a gauge 23 needle. I was already so tired and so pissed off. I no longer had that patience. If Rona didn't keep her cool then, I would have probably done two of these things:
1. walked away without saying a word,
2. poked the damn needle on that ranting dad and tell him to shut up.

I'm still in my right mind though. I would do option #1. But good thing Rona was there, and we eventually completed the task of extracting arterial blood from that kid.

*deep sigh* I AM PEDIA INTERN!! And I hate it so much!!! If you go back to around 1 year back, you’ll be able to read the part where I broke down during my clerkship year. And that was during my Pedia rotation. u_u

It’s not that I hate kids. I think they are cute and all. But I don’t like them when they are sick. I don’t want to line them. I don’t want to extract blood from them. Because those are two of the most difficult things in this world to do! And in addition to that, you get a ranting mother (or a hard-headed grandmother or a nosy neighbor) at your side, going all hysterical and blaming and pressuring you for inflicting pain on her child. IT’S NOT LIKE I WANT TO DO THIS, DAMMIT! T.T That’s why I will never go into Pediatrics. NEVER. Absolutely ZETTAI NEVER!!!!!!! I don’t want to treat patients I don’t want to treat. Children should never be sick in the first place. Sometimes, it’s the irresponsibility of parents which leads to such unfortunate consequences. And those are the parents I'd just love to poke with a gauge 23 needle and yell, SHUT UP!!!!

After this week at the OPD (plus one more ER reliever duty this Friday), I will be Pedia Ward intern already for the next two weeks. Good luck to me cos I’m the Hema-Onco intern, one of the most detested posts, which means all my patients will probably need blood extractions day and night. On top of that, I will be celebrating (as if there’s a cause for celebration) my birthday in the ward, because I happen to be on 24-h duty that day and, as if life just keeps getting better and better, I will be endorsing the entire Ward 9 the next day during the conference. And if I survive that, I will catch babies for the next two weeks in OBAS/LCB/Nursery, then the last two weeks will be my REAL fight in BATTLE CITY. Yes. The final two weeks are my official Pedia ER duty schedule. And we will have NO MORE RELIEVERS by then, which means the battle is all ours.

*tone dripping with sarcasm* Yehey. How exciting. I just can’t wait.

Trina forwarded me this quote from Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t watch the series, but I can truly relate to this:
“The key to surviving medical training is denial. We deny we’re tired, we deny that we’re scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we are in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works.” (Meredith Grey)

It has to work. Or else no freaking person can ever survive this kind of horrid lifestyle.

Sometimes I wish I was just an “ordinary” person. Nobody told me I need to be a superhero.

ON BENIGN ROTATIONS AND BISHIES GALORE

I’ve just finished my two weeks rotation in Otorhinolaryngology (ORL) aka ENT (Eyes, Ears, Nose, Head and Neck Surgery). It was one of the rotations I actually liked when I was still a clerk, because I like suctioning out impacted cerumen (eew! XD) and removing foreign bodies from the nose. But now in internship, I realized that there is no way that I will tread that path and lead that kind of life. I have no plans of living the rest of my existence picking on the nose or poking people’s tonsils with the laryngeal mirror (that’s because, misakichan, you lack skill and that “delicate touch” – in short, you were born a brute with big and reckless hands XD). I applaud the department though for having a certain sense of discipline and order in their residency program. I think it would be nice to train in ORL residency in PGH, but I think I’ll pass. >.<

Now I’m in my first week in the Department of Ophthalmology, which in a sense, has a world of its own too. The practice is a skill and interest acquired only by a few gifted(?) individuals, unfortunately excluding me. XD It’s my third day and I still can’t get my fundoscopy right. *sigh* I remember my clerkship days when I suddenly (LOL) developed super fundoscopy powers, and I can see all of my patient’s maculae, cup-disc ratio and retinal arteries/veins. Well, those were the days of the past. The talent has long faded away, and I’m reduced to this inept intern forcefully (and awkwardly) shining the red light of the ophthalmoscope into my patients’ eyes. May the heavens have mercy on their poor souls eyes. XD

It’s a relatively benign rotation though, and we get to stay in Sentro Oftalmologico Jose Rizal (aka Sentro, aka Spain XD), that grand, circular, glass-encased building just a few meters away from my dorm. XD Since the building is new, we take joy in the coolness of the airconditioning system, the crispness of the facilities, the sparkle and shine of their hi-tech operating rooms and post-anesthesia care unit (PACU), etc etc. I was basking in the PACU yesterday, practically doing nothing the whole day, watching over non-toxic patients who were all hooked to cardiac monitors. It was extreme bliss, to actually monitor 3 beds without having to use my borrowed sphygmomanometer. XD

Well, since it’s a benign rotation, I figured it would be the best time to start studying already for the boards. I’ve even started reading PharmaKOWAI (roflmao!), I mean, Pharmacology yesterday (ngeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!!!!! T.T) Every one of us is scared to our shitty pants thinking about the upcoming exam of our lives come August. I keep receiving text messages asking me where I’m going to review, how I’m going to review, and when I’m staring to review. The truth is: I HAVE NO IDEA. So please stop asking me! I’m as ignorant as everyone else. u__u

I do know one thing: Besides Hana Yori Dango season 2, perhaps the next most interesting j-dorama to download would be Nodame Cantabile. XD I’ve seen first two episodes of the anime. It’s sooooooooooo much fun! XD

But I have to seriously study already. No more time for my luvluv bishies. T.T

BIG QUESTION

I'm thinking about it.

There is actually a subspec in Surgery called Colorectal Surgery. They specialize in doing operations pertaining to the colon down, from colostomy to hemicolectomy to hemorrhoidectomy to fistulotomy, etc etc etc. I love it! I've always loved surgical procedures which involve the bowels! That's why my most favorite OR assist is actually an explore laparotomy, where you cut open the patient's abdomen to "explore" what's wrong with him. I think I did 5-6 exlap assists last year. I did a total of 30 OR assists last year, including that record breaking 15-hour non-stop assist. *proud* Teehee XD I so love Surgery! ^___________^

Anyway, the other day, I was able to assist in an Ex Lap, my first in PGH! I love it!!! I really enjoyed it. The bowels kinda look like very very big and very very fat spaghetti!!! LOLz XD It was a very toxic case though. When we opened up the patient, it was indeed a surgical abdomen. It reeked of ruptured appendicitis, and there was fluid all over, but NOOOOOOoooooOooooO!!! The stomach was clean, the bowels were clean, the appendix was normal!!! Then we saw the uterus and ovaries, and they were edematous and hemorrhagic, so we did an intra-op referral to OB and they finished up the operation! However, the patient was so septic, she coded while still on the OR table! By the time the OB senior residents tied the last suture (and they were suturing at ultra fast speed!), the anesthesiology resident immediately did ACLS on the patient. The effort was in vain though. The patient died on the OR table. u__u It was my first time to have a patient expire on the OR table. I thought that only happens in movies. *sigh*

Yesterday, another patient in the ward from our service also died. It was I think a case of massive GI bleeding secondary to gastric ulcers, and the patient was basically draining himself of his blood. He was bleeding through his nasogastric tube, and through his anus. Whatever amount of blood we were transfusing to him, he would just simply drain it out like a faucet. There was blood everywhere, it was so damn freaky!! Kowai de-su!!

I think I have become numb to the concept of death. I see death everyday and feel nothing. I've read this quote somewhere, that all doctors and interns have looked through the eyes of death, and has said, "Fixed, dilated na." (referring to the pupils of dead patients) KYYAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm such a horrible person!!!! T.T

*shakes head*

Iie. I decided to become a doctor to save lives and make a difference to mankind. I decided to trek this path to do God's will and serve His people. I decided I want to become a person who can inspire and encourage others though my life.

Which brings us back to the original question: Am I planning to go into Colorectal Surgery?

*deep sigh*

That's more than 5 years, Leng. When the heck are you going to get a life!?! -__-

*****random piffle thought*****
Te wo tsunaide.

HOW TO EXCISE A BREAST MASS AND OTHER TALES OF GOO

After my 2 weeks of benign-ness in Rehab Med, I've shifted again to a major department -- SURGERY. This should be exciting. It was my most favorite rotation in clerkship after all, and if God is willing, it might be my future as well. ^____^ I so love the operating room!!! But we will save the OR rants for next time, since I'm still ER intern for the next two weeks. XD

So as Surgery ER intern, my posts are as follows:
PREDUTY : See as many patients and chart as fast as you can at the OPD! Actually, I'm getting fed up of doing so many rectal exams and palpating for countless groin hernias. I'm 24 and I've already 'touched' so many men, young and old alike. XD *rofl
DUTY : ER! Examine all the battered women, suture all those laceratioons, and insert lines on all those acute abdomen patients! I love the emergency room, but we don't have enough chairs so most of the time we are standing. XD We can sit when we are at the triage though, hehehe
POSTDUTY : After my crazy come-what-may 24 hours at the ER, I am to proceed immediately to the Minor OR to excise whatever it is that is lying on the OR table -- be it a sebaceous cyst, breast mass, lipoma, etcetera. Yesterday was my first time to excise a breast mass and I was really freaked out because I didn't know if what I'm doing is right. And my suturing is still crooked. XD But I hope to do better next time. Ganbatte, Misaki! XD

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I'm at MSD now... It's an internet center for research purposes of the residents and staff here at the hospital, but I'm always here to blog and download anime mp3s. XD It's shameless of me. But the connection is really good... And it's free... XD

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CDOtakus has transferred to a new home! We finally have our own domain: www.cdotaku.com. YEY!!! Many thanks to tensai and haku-sama for all their efforts, and for all the members who are always so active. I have always harbored a grateful heart for my CDOtaku family who has made my dream and vision for an otaku society in CDO come true. YEY! Too bad I have to be here when all the excitement is going on over there. I so want to fly home right now to see how their booth for the XU Days will look like. I hope the exposure will open CDOtakus to many japanese anime/games/language/culture-related opportunities and activities in CDO.

Our next goal is: AniCon in CDO!!! And yes, we will invite Sakamoto Maaya AND Utada Hikaru. BOTH of them. LOL *rofl

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Hya told me yesterday that I have to find a certain Anesthesiology resident who has a fervent fandom for Japanese doramas! Amazing that you can actually find people like that (like us! LOL) within the walls of this colorless world (aka hospital XD). This anesthesiology resident was allegedly caught in the act (LOL) by Hya watching Kami-sama Mou Sukoshi Dake during an ongoing operation. LOL This then started their animated conversation regarding Japanese doramas and music. XD This resident apparently has extensive knowledge on Japanese terebi doramas, Kimura Takuya, Utada Hikaru, L'arc-en-ciel, and even Gackt <3, among many other things. Hya said it was just like talking to an old friend, or even to a "male version of me". And that's why I must find this person.

My match, huh? We'll see about that. XD

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I started watching Densha Otoko during my last Rehab duty (last saturday) but I only watched till episode 4. I still have to finish the rest, maybe this weekend. It's really a great dorama so expect me to write about it next time (assuming I have the time, that is, LOL). I hope I can finish it this weekend. By the way, GOOD NEWS!!! I'm off again this weekend! *evil laughter BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA* And I'm off next Saturday as well. YEY!! But I'm shifting intern next week, and I'll probably be on duty on Christmas Day. But hopefully not on New Year as well. *sigh* It really doesn't matter. The point is: I'm not going home this Holiday season, so I don't really care if I'm on duty or if I'm stuck in the dorm all alone with no water supply. Hya is going home. Leslie is going home. James is going home. I am not. I don't even know when I'm going home. Or if I can still go home.

I live such a crazy life.

And this is another crazy blog entry. XD

BLOCK X NIGHT OUT

Our block went out for dinner last night. It was an event we have all been looking forward to since the beginning of time (or something like that XD), but it was sad that one of us, ang bibong babae na si Grettel, wasn't able to go because she was on duty. *sad* We'll make up to her next week, yakusoku de-su! ^o^ Anyway, so after OPD yesterday, we all went home to change clothes (and well yah, take a quick nap XD) and by 630pm, we were all set to go to Mall of Asia. I got to ride in Karl's BMW, teehee. XD And on the way, my blockmates were nice enought to point out to me where the World Trade Center is. That's where I'm going this Sunday. *grins*

So upon arriving to Mall of Asia, we immediately went to look for Italianni's. And after locating it, I tagged Rona along to Comic Alley to buy the H3Con tickets! Woohoo! XD And after inquiring the jeepney/FX drivers regarding their schedules trips to Bicutan/Skyway (where Rona lives), we hurried back to the resto just in time for start of dinner. It was Vernon's treat (no, it wasn't his birthday but he was just being generous XD), and he really made us eat to our hearts' content. We had appetizer, chowder, salad, pizzas, bread, spaghetti (yay!), carbonara (yay!), and a hefty chunks of pork. The food actually tasted quite OK, although I found it a bit blan for my taste. I don't know. I'm not realy familiar with fine dining since I can't afford such gourmet dishes. I'm sure Vernon must've spent an amount equal (or probably even more XD) than my whole month's allowance for that meal. XD We are all grateful and happy and satiated with his generosity. YEY! XD

After dinner, we then decided that there is still room for dessert. XD So we went to a coffee shop to have some cakes and coffee. YEY!!! I so love coffee. I ordered cafe latte, although I wish it had a stronger taste. XD This time it was Karl's treat, and we just enjoyed our time together, talking about anything that came to our minds. For that short time, it felt like we were just normal people being carefree, far from the hustle and bustle of the hospital where we seem forever bound to. Eventually it was time to go, and I went home with Vernon, Eric and Rory. We weren't out for long, but it was probably enough to revitalize our poor souls and strengthen the bonds between ten (I still counted Grettel in even though she wasn't physically there XD) strangers who have learned to become good friends in a span of six months. ^___________^

I am so glad I am in Block X. *group hug!!!*

Here's another something to be happy about: only a few more hours until the weekend starts and that means... I'M ALREADY GOING TO THE ANICON!!!! TOEI CON ON SATURDAY AND H3CON ON SUNDAY!!! Woohoooo!! *jumps up and down in joy and elation* Already prepared money for transpo and food and.... will borrow digicam later from Ching2x! (YAY! I love you Ching!!! ^o^). My blockmates have been very supportive and they wish me luck in finding a boyfriend in the con (yah, right XD). They also suggested that I cosplay (nyahahaha) but I told them I'm not ready. So, maybe next year? XD My goal is simply to just have EXTREME OTAKU FUN for the next two days. XD YATTA! XD

I'm coming down with a fever though. I can feel it. I have a sore and irritated throat, runny nose, and I feel feverish all over. *sad* But nothing will stop me from going to the con!!! YEY! ^___________^V

HOW TO MEASURE THE HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION OF A PERSON

I'm rotating in Rehab Med now, and I am like an empty shell. Since I have zero background on Rehab Medicine, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make a good history. I don't know how to use the goniometer and perform the PE and various what-the-heck-are-these tests of the spine and extremities. And I don't know how to diagnose the cases since I don't know what I'm dealing with in the first place. I can't even remember my anatomy. How pathetic. XD

I want to read something - anything! - just to help myself. Perhaps it's time to open Snell again. Rekindle the flames of an old "friend". XD XD

The good side of it all is that this is a relatively benign rotation. YEY! XD At the OPD, we see a maximum of two patients per intern everyday. Sometimes, if lucky, there will just be a few patients and some of us don't even have to do anything. The Rehab Ward is under renovation and is now relocated in Ward 12 along with other departments like Surgery and Neuro. We only have SIX beds. During ward duty, we don't do anything at all. You are considered lucky if you get to extract blood. So I guess I should count myself lucky, I got to extract blood for CBC last Monday and again this morning. XD I only go to a 24-hr duty ONCE in two weeks (YEY!). Overall, it's really quite a relaxing rotation, in comparison to the toxicities of the previous Internal Med rotation and the soon-to-come Surgery rotation.

I was browsing through a booklet called Physical Terrorism Manual (or something like that), a crash course on Physical Therapy, and I thought to myself, how can they actually STUDY and DO these stuffs?! XD I guess PT is difficult and it's not something I'd probably want to deal with. XD But going back to the problem(s) now, how do you compute the apparent leg length and the true leg length of a person who actually has no leg?! Do you even measure it? How do you know the true height of a person who was born lacking in height? How do you measure for the range of motion of body parts which are relatively immobile?! What are the criteria to diagnose autism? How do you do speech therapy? How do you do pulm and cardio rehab? How do I answer questions when I don't even know what I want to know in the first place!?

Gah. XD Tonight I will clean my bed and cabinet, wash my plates and clothes, and watch School Rumble.

Oh. Read Snell? When did I say that!? XD