* * *  H A P P Y    2 0 1 2 !  * * *

Before saying it becomes passé, let me greet everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

(coin art.. w00t!)

I don't plan on making a long entry about my new year's resolutions, plans, etc... I've done those before and well, nothing really happened. XD But my theme for this year would be "Out with the old, and In with the New" as I am praying for new and exciting changes in my life.

First of all of course is to change my planner...

Owning a planner is very important for me cos I love to make little notes/doodles, and it helps me keep track of many aspects of my life. I picked the oak-colored Starbucks planner to be my trusted partner for 2012. It's smaller than last year's planner and though I don't really like the lay-out that much, but I think we will make many many sweet memories together for this year. This is my third SB planner in a row, and perhaps, my last. My boyfriend and I decided that we will start saving up some moolah and hence will stop buying luxurious items such as these (we will buy Moleskine planners instead!!!). Cholo and I also plan to stop being impulsive spenders, to be more disciplined, and SRSLY lose some weight. We have big visions for our not-so-distant future, and we really need to keep our focus and tighten our pockets to achieve our goals.

After ranting about the importance of money, ironically, the next major change in my life right now is that I've resigned from my job effective the first day of this year for reasons that I don't want to expound anymore. Suffice it to say that I just wanted to get out of my comfort zone and move on with my life. I know it's a bit foolish to leave behind a stable, relatively good-paying job, especially with both my parents jobless right now. But I have given it a lot of thought, discussed it with a lot of significant people, and most importantly, prayed about it. So I'm seeing this as a leap of faith, as an act of complete surrender and dependence on God's greater plan for me. I do not know what the future holds, but I know my God holds my future. Yes, I am very much afraid, but I am really looking forward to see what doors of opportunities will open and what exciting experiences await me for this year.

Since I'll be (hopefully) having a lot of free time in my hands for the first couple of weeks of 2012, I really want to make good use of this chance to organize my life, my priorities and... my room! I have hoarded lots of stuffs last year like books, mangas, DVDs, etc and I really need to stop doing that cos I don't really have the space to hold them and the time to use them. After the tragedy of super tyyphoon Sendong, of which our apartment was also not spared (we were flooded till knee level!), we have come to realize that in just one snap, everything material could easily be taken away from you. And I know this is quite silly cos my hoards have no eternal value, but still, if I can, I want to really make good use of them. So I have set some realistic(?) challenges for myself and hopefully I will be able to do them this year;

• Read and study the Bible twice everyday
• Finish the entire Bible twice this year
• Blog at least once or twice a week
• Make at least 30 new artworks
• Read at least 30 books
• Watch at least 30 drama/TV series
• Watch at least 60 anime series
• Read at least 100 mangas
• Watch at least 300 movies

I know the above list is quite ridiculous and shows only the irrational, materialistic side of me, but setting such quota may be able to help me make better use of my time. I want to stop wasting my energy and time on staring blankly at social network sites, or playing insignificant games, and be more productive. Of course if there are more important things to do for my spiritual or career growth, my family and friends and real-life matters, these would naturally take precedence. But I don't want to waste any more time and energy doing useless things that will not make me a better individual. I hope this will indeed be a more fruitful year.

As Joel Osteen said in his bestselling book, "I've made up my mind to not waste any more days. I'm celebrating each as a gift from God." Here's wishing all of us a great year of celebration ahead.

ALL "CLEAR"!!!

I have been victimized again! X____X

Remember my story on how some of my old pirated DVDs suddenly became like clear round plastic materials and lost all data?

Well, it has found another victim in my stash and it's none other than...

MY COPY OF SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI THAT I HAVEN'T WATCHED YET!

Look at what happened to it...

It's now all clear and you can actually see the cover through the underside!

WHAT A CHEAP FSCK*NG@#%!$^&7$@!# PIECE OF TRASH!!!! T______T
It's not anyone's fault though, and if I were to point my fingers at someone, I'd blame myself. For supporting piracy. For stashing unnecessary materialistic stuffs. For not taking the time to watch my DVDs. And just for being the obsessive-compulsive hoarder that I am. I know these are made of cheap, low-quality materials and don't expect much from them, but of all titles, why Saiunkoku Monogatari!? I haven't watched it yet, don't know where to download it, and don't know anyone who has a copy of it! :(

And so this makes me ponder on what should be the best way to store my video collection. I have started backing up some of my files in external hard disks, but I'm afraid that they might get infected by a virus and crash someday (very much like what happened to my sister's now-useless Ipod Classic) and I'll lose at least 500gb worth of videos. I've also burned most of my animes into DVDs but I also noted that a lot of these somehow have burn errors and can no longer be read by my computer, thereby making me lose at least 4gb worth of files. Collecting DVDs also mean that they will eventually accumulate space in my room, which is exactly what is happening right now, as I've amassed at least two huge boxes full of VHS/CDs/VCDs/DVDs (to my mother's chagrin XD). Well, another option is to burn several copies and give them away to friends as gifts/back-ups, which is what I sometimes do, but that kinda takes up my time and money. Last option is to simply STOP COLLECTING, which I have been contemplating lately. The truth is, I've realized that I have been spending much and piling up a lot of these things which are earthly, costly, and later on, pretty useless. Doesn't the Bible say,
"Don't store up treasures here on earth, where they can be eaten by moths and get rusty, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where they will never become moth-eaten or rusty and where they will be safe from thieves. Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be." (Matthew 6:19-21, NLT)

Anyhoo, one of my 2011 Goals is to go on a Download Diet, which means I'm trying not to click-and-download pretty much everything that I see online. It's so difficult not to give in to the temptation but with my current state of workload and the difficult internet access in my workplace, I think I can somehow lie low a bit this year. Then hopefully I can focus on more important aspects of my life, like my spiritual growth and deciding the right direction for my career.

But still... WHY SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI!?!?!? *cries*

BEING PATIENT TO PATIENTS

I always joke that the reason I am a doctor is because I don't want to be patient. Actually that's not true, because I am often a gentle-mannered, polite, and easy-going person in almost all aspects of my life. Most of the time you won't see me get angry, or lash out against another person, or make sarcastic or mean remarks right in front of the person concerned. (Although I do have a loud and beefy voice which is often mistaken as an "annoyed" tone, and I can be honest to you about certain things, and I really don't want to tell you about stuffs suoh12 and I talk about in private regarding certain people -- BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY MY POINT HERE. XD) But most often than not, I'm really just your nice and friendly and accommodating neighborhood person. So getting me really angry early in the morning is totally stretching it to the limits. Which was what happened today.

I admitted a case of blunt trauma secondary to a vehicular crash at around 3AM today. The driver-turned-patient was drunk, and I had to bit my tongue to keep myself from saying that his foolishness and recklessness just made me lose much-needed sleep. I assessed him and managed him as a professional physician should do, even calling up the rad tech to do STAT Xrays. And even without presenting any insurance or deposits, we even started antibiotics on him. I was so busy with him that it was almost 530AM when I finally got to go back to my room. But not before I talked with his mother and explained his condition to the best of my ability, and reassured her that come morning, we will suture his wound and he will be seen by his attending surgeon who was already informed of this admission.

So imagine my confusion, and annoyance, when I was awakened after an hour by our nurse, who tells me that this certain patient's watcher (a sister who just arrived that morning) is making a scene in front of the nurses' station demanding to see a doctor and see something done to her brother. I immediately went down to see what was the problem, and introduced myself politely to this lady (whom I just saw for the first time). To my (groggy) surprise, she started b*tching about how we didn't do anything to her patient, and accused us of prioritizing money matters over the saving of a life. I rebutted her every allegation, because I know these weren't true at all. But she proceeded on raging and even speaking in english, and I also retorted back in english. I was reassuring her that her brother was being monitored properly and that his condition was stable. But I was also already subtly adding sarcasm to my remarks, and I had raised my voice a bit just to show her who's the authority here. She still b*tched till the very end, and said that I'd better be sure of what I was telling her. I turned away in annoyance because I didn't want to talk to someone who didn't want to listen to me anyway.

I went back to my room and noticed that my hands were shaking. I've never been good at confronting people or getting mad at them, and it always shows. My hands always shake and my speech is often all jumbled up. Most often I end up saying the wrong and lame things, and the words don't really sound quite right. Even my "angry tone" just doesn't sound at all convincing. Sometimes I also get tears in my eyes, which I always hate. I always seem to cry whenever I'm ovewhelmed with emotions. It's really quite embarrassing and inappropriate. Good thing I didn't cry in front of that lady. I know what I said to her and what I did to her patient were right, and what she said was plain ridiculous and her haughty attitude totally unnecessary. Deep down my conscience was clean. Yet I still couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty because of our exchange of conversation. I really don't like getting into these kinds of things. Couldn't we just have talked normally and peacefully and professionally instead?

The patient was eventually seen by his attending surgeon. His condition was stable all throughout this morning. His lacerated wound was sutured and a cranial CT scan (negative findings!) done. But all the while his sister still kept her b*tchy attitude, tormenting a lot of our hospital staff with her english words (except our Chief Nurse, whose glare alone can make you simply shut up).

Later in the afternoon however, a chest tube was inserted into his right lung, and that's when our surgeon noted he still seemed to be in a lot of pain. So he did a diagnostic peritoneal lavage and noted that the patient was bleeding inside his abdomen. So we immediately scheduled for an emergency explore lap, and guess who was called up to scrub in as surgical assistant? Lucky Me. It wasn't as toxic as it appeared though, and in no time the operation was done, and the patient was stable all throughout this ordeal (and hopefully until he gets discharged).

The events this afternoon made me think twice again about my attitude today. I do not claim to be a superior doctor nor to be a very knowledgeable one. I know I am lacking in many aspects and that I need to try harder. And everyday I always keep praying that God won't let me have patients that I do not have the ability to handle or manage, and somehow I get through every working day of my life learning through my experiences, through my peers, through my mentors. Although I swear to God that I managed that patient well, I still can't help but re-think about my attitude towards my patient and towards his sister, especially after I reassured her that her brother's condition was stable, yet he was still wheeled into the OR in the afternoon. Perhaps I was too haughty and overconfident? Perhaps I was too irritable and careless? I really don't know...

I know I am not perfect, but I do want to become a really good and holistic doctor. And I can only do so if I depend on the guidance of the Ultimate Healer and try harder in everything. I need to continue to pray to God for a heart of humility and compassion, and the attitude to be more patient to my patients (and their b*tchy sisters).

HOME FOR THE NIGHT

I got a text from my friend Juhara saying that she's back in CDO for now but will go back to Manila tomorrow. And since I had the evening off so I decided to go home to meet up with her. I just felt so tired after last night's duty, and just slept soundly during the almost three-hour bus ride home.

I arrived in the terminal around 830pm, but since it was raining, it took me a while to get a taxi ride home. Then I went to Joey's place to hang out and eat some cake. She showed me more of her Tohoshinki downloads, and introduced me to some more Kpop idols. Lately I'm just not into Korean entertainment anymore. It's not like I lost interest in it or anything, but rather, I already have TOO MANY interests for my own good and it's just not on my priority list right now. I don't have the time and effort to grow and nurture another fandom.

So as I was watching Showbiz Extra with Joey, my thoughts drifted to my own fangirl priorities...

• First, I obviously like HOARDING. It just feels good to know I own a copy of a certain series/album/manga/etc, despite the fact that I haven't watched/listened/read it yet. The mere fact that I have it gives me satisfaction.
  
  
• My first priority hoard right now is anime. I just love to collect really good series, especially if they date back quite some time ago. And because of my obsessive-compulsive nature, I would often try to download ALL the seasons and versions of a certain series (including manga). I'd feel uneasy if I don't complete a certain "set".
  
  
• On dramas, my priority right now is TAIWANESE > JAPANESE > KOREAN. It's weird but right now I just want to watch more Taiwanese dramas. It's also easier for me to understand them so I don't mind watching them raw or if with sucky english subs. However, most of the items queued on my torrent client right now are J-drama episodes. I'm temporarily refraining from Korean TV dramas because they're usually very long and tragic, and I have no patience for that right now. The last K-drama I watched was Coffee Prince's First Shop, which I immensely enjoyed. ^___^ But that was still last year.
  
  
• Other hoard items for me are manga scanlations and artbook scans. I recently developed this obsession of right clicking and saving lovely images, with the intention of making them as reference materials for "future drawings". Unfortunately, these "future drawings" never materialized because of my laziness and because I really don't have the time to do that now (since I'm so busy hoarding XD).

Well, after an episode of Showbiz Extra and a slice of cake, I bade Joey goodbye since I am just so bone tired and still have to wake up early for work tomorrow. I will surely miss her cos I don't know when I'll see her again. But right now, I just wish her the best and for her to have the concentration and confidence needed to undergo the hellish preparations for board exams. I've been there and I've done that, so I can somehow understand what she's going through (and add to that her other problems as well). JOEY, FIGHTING!!!

I myself need some fighting too since I just can't seem to recover yet from my super lack of sleep the other day. It makes me more absent-minded (as if I'm not absent-minded enough already) and I tend to make funny and embarrassing mistakes when I'm very sleepy (i.e. write "a small mall in Baguio" under Doctor's Orders XD). In any case, presence of mind is needed since a mistake in my job may prove fatal to my patients. T___T



Currently watching an old anime, Berserk... Hope it won't disappoint.



To be followed by...

UPDATES OF MY LIFE


Just got back from Camiguin. And now, for a quick rundown on the present state of my life (in no particular order)...

• WE NEED TO MOVE OUT OF OUR APARTMENT ASAP. We've been living in simple and cozy apartment for almost 15 years (I think..) but my parents were just informed yesterday that we need to move out as soon as possible. The landlord has decided that they will be using this unit for one of their daughters, who already got married. My father's paranoia is cracking up, while my mother is fretting over small things. And I was planning to handle this rationally but got pissed off when my mom started bickering about my CDs (which isn't really the main issue here). My father is dead set on buying a housing unit in a subdivision but I told him that it's not that easy to process documents and loan money for that, not to mention that such a HUGE DECISION requires careful planning and discussing. Now is just not the time for that. I told them that we all need to calm down and the first thing we need to do is to find a place where we can move in for now, and other issues will just have to wait. I know this is just a trial and that there's a purpose for this. I am praying that GOD will take care of us in the days to come, and that He will guide us to a place where He will be glorified and His will be done.
  
  
  
  
• MY SISTER IS GOING TO JAPAN. My sister has been working in a Japanese IT company in Cebu for the past two years, and she has been waiting for her chance to go to Japan for training. And now the time has come, and she'll be leaving come September and will be staying there until early December.
  
  She will be staying here.
  I am so envious!!! Going to Japan has always been my dream but I guess my sister will have to take care of my otaku fandom for now and buy my "needs" for me when she gets there. I feel quite excited for her and this new adventure, and I pray that she'll be safe and happy there.
  
  
  
  
• I NEED TO GO TO MANY PLACES TOMORROW. My agenda tomorrow will involve going to the offices of PMA, BIR, CAP, Philheath, SSS and maybe try to find a house where we could move in. I hope I'll wake up early tomorrow cos it's going to be a long day. I might watch a movie if I will feel like it. Wonder if Hannah Montana the Movie is still showing or if it's another movie that I've missed to watch again.
  
  
  
  
• MY TEN DAYS IN CAMIGUIN WERE MEMORABLE. I was able to do 3 spontaneous vaginal deliveries, one of which is an undelivered second twin. It's my first time to actually do something like that. I also had a patient who was stabbed by his brother, and arrived at the ER with the knife still stuck to the hilt in his back. I was quite shocked to see something like that, but resuscitation measures were futile since the patient already died on arrival. And on my last day I had another admitted patient who suddenly died. He was quite a complicated case yet I cannot quite explain why he died. A similar incident happened last month too. I hope this won't become something like a monthly tradition or something. It's making me all the more depressed and burned out.
  
  
  
  
• MY UNCLE RECENTLY DIED. Before I left for Camiguin, I received news that my Kotiu suddenly died due to an acute onset of low back pain. It was an unexpected event, and although we were not exceptionally close and have lost contact over the years, but I've always remembered him as one who treated me like his own daughter when I was still a kid. He used to live next door to us with his five daughters, and they'd often count me in as their 6th sibling. Suddenly hearing him die of an unknown illness, and not even getting to see him for the last time makes me feel regretful. I so wanted to attend his wake but I couldn't because of my work schedule. I so wanted to meet my cousins too who came home for the funeral. It was a shock to all of them since they have also lost contact with him for some time as well. I hope my uncle rests in peace, and my cousins will overcome their grief.
  
  
  
  
• MY FRIENDS GOT MARRIED. Before I left for Camiguin, I also attended the church wedding of my friends, Chris and Doc Grace. It was a small and simple wedding, only attended by family and close friends, and I was lucky to be invited, and even luckier to take part in the entourage. I was able to find a nice and simple green dress which matched the motif, and thankfully, I did not goof up when I tied the cord on the couple. I feel very happy for them and wish them many many blissful years ahead.
  
  
  
  
• I GOT A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. I originally didn't plan on getting one cos I don't have the time to manage something like that. But my boyfriend suddenly decided to register on FB, and my high school friends sent me messages to join, so if you can't beat 'em then you really just got to join 'em. I still don't know how to play around with the applications, but hopefully I'll get used to it soon. We're planning our high school reunion come June 2010 in FB, so it's actually quite fun discussing all these and remembering old memories as well. More details re: the high school reunion when we get to finalize the plans.
  
  
  
  
• I NEED TO SERIOUSLY LOSE WEIGHT. With an upcoming high school reunion come next year, I suddenly feel desperate to lose my "excess baggages". And I know my lack of discipline and sedentary lifestyle also contributes to my current feelings of burn-out and depression. OK, 'nuff said. Don't really wanna talk about that. But I want changes, and I want them to be DRASTIC changes.
  
  
  
  
• I AM SETTING A KIRIBAN IN MY DEVIANTART ACCOUNT. And I've set it on the 999th pageview. Whoever captures a screenshot of it gets an OC rendition from me. I know I haven't been making decent drawings lately, but I really have lots of ideas brewing in my mind right now, and I've already made a prototype character design for my OC, Chappi-tan. More details of that (and more scrap art) will be posted on http://pandaandpotato.deviantart.com soon.
  
  
  
  
• I FINISHED THREE ANIMES AND ONE TV DRAMA IN THE PAST TEN DAYS. And they are: Bokura Ga Ita, Neo Angelique Abyss, Izumo: Takeki Tsurugi no Senki, and the Taiwanese Idol Drama, Love or Bread. I'll write more about this in a separate entry.
  
  
  
  
• I JUST CHECKED MY TORRENT LIST and realized that I've finished downloading the J-doramas VOICE and KOIZORA. Next in line is another J-dorama, ONE POUND GOSPEL, based on the Rumiko Takahashi manga, followed by LIAR GAME and BUMP OFF LOVER. I also have to facilitate transfer of my internet connection to wherever we're headed for. Hopefully we'll have better connection and Sun signal there.

That's all for now, I guess. I'm still quite tired from the travel so I'm going to catch some zzzz's now. Will blog again tomorrow.

RUNNING AROUND

Seems like I've been "running" all over the place for the past few days.
Unfortunately, it's not the type of running that sheds off weight. XD

I'm talking about how I'm going about trying to accomplish the following :

• Process papers and complete application requirements;
  
• Meet friends and return their DVDs;
  
• Catch up on my internet life;
  
• Buy needs and prepare for work come Sunday.

Somehow though, I feel that I'm trying to do so many things with so little time, and this just makes me so tired. The fact that most of the time I'm away from my home, far from the hustle-bustle of city life, and disconnected from my internet for 23 days of the month -- this fact makes me so tired. And perhaps that's why I just have this uneasiness within me. I'm not really complaining, because I'm very blessed with two jobs. But it's also really quite difficult to find time for myself when most of the days of the month, I'm just not at home. And the times I'm at home, I'm always so busy trying to catch up and trying to do stuffs I need to do before I'll be leaving again. But maybe this kind of lifestyle is also what I need to keep me from idling my time away in the internet.

Anyway, the past two days, I went to take a neuro-psychological exam, which was quite a weird experience for me, since the last time I took a similar type of exam was still in med school. And somehow, I feel that I'm not very good at these, especially on the abstract reasoning part (being the unreasonable person that I am XD). When I was interviewed by the psychiatrist, he praised me for my drawing of a person, which was of a long haired girl wearing a gown reminiscent of my Romeo x Juliet fandom. LOLz He asked me if I want to have further studies in Fine Arts. I merely shrugged and laughed, knowing deep down that the path of an artist is something I've long abandoned.

Next I went to have a drug test, and silly me, I thought they were going to take a blood sample. When the med tech gave me a bottle to collect my urine, I tried to pee but I couldn't even if my life depended on it, so I gave back the empty bottle and said I'll just return later in the afternoon. I drank more than 1.5L of fluids at home before I went back to make sure I'd have more than enough urine sample. Of course I tested NEGATIVE. But my picture (taken by a webcam) on the test result looked really weird. XD

I also went to get an NBI clearance. It was my first time, and it was quite an unusual experience, especially the part where the officer took my fingerprints. I guess to ensure the validity of the results, an NBI staff is assigned to LITERALLY assist you in taking your fingerprints, as in he really lifted and dabbed my fingers one by one in the black ink, then on my application form! And then I had to wait for quite a while before my number was called to pay at the cashier, after which I stood on the next window to have my picture taken. Since the officer in charge of taking my picture wasn't looking at me and seemed busy with some papers, I kept looking uneasily at the camera, and rolled my eyes to the left nd right, feeling quite uncomfortable. Then before I knew it, the officer suddenly gave me a thumbs-up sign, implying that my pic was already taken. HE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME TO PREPARE! u___u It will definitely be another weird photo. I'm just so sure of it! But I won't be getting my NBI clearance until after two weeks (since I guess my name is too common) so I will just have to wait and see how weird my photo will appear. XD

I also went to the Philhealth office to apply for accreditation as physician, but there were a list of requirements that I need to comply with, so I will need to go back again to submit them. I wasn't able to visit the Pag-ibig office or the PMA office because I didn't have time anymore (because I kept waking up late in the morning, ehehehe XD).


I was able to meet up with my friend Lalac yesterday, and we had a fun evening just talking and eating cake. I met her again today because I had to give something important to her, then I went to meet my friend Yume for dinner at Rai Rai Ken then for a little ice cream at Fiorgelato (yum!). She's starting her career as an elementary school teacher this Monday, and I just wish her all the luck. After dinner, I went to see my friend Joey at her house and I gave her some DVDs and she showed me her (huge) collection of downloaded videos and stuffs, mostly related to DBSK (Tohoshinki). She's so "obsessed" with them right now. I like them too but I'm just not so familar with all their songs and achievements. Besides, I feel that I don't have the time to fangirl anymore. I mean, I already have so many things in my hands, and following so many series/animes/mangas. I can't afford to obsess on something else cos I will end up doing more of THIS...

PLEASE DON'T ASK WHY I HAVE 295 FILES QUEUED. XD

Joey also let me borrow Twilight Books 2, 3 and 4. So I no longer have any excuse NOT to read them. Hehehe She showed me a teaser trailer of the upcoming movie, New Moon. I am not much of a fan really, and just do not find Robert Pattinson attractive at all (I am so turned off by his pasty make-up T__T). But maybe reading the books may help me change my mind.

Or maybe not. XD

Lastly, tomorrow I have to meet Gervie and Hime, buy stuffs for use in Malaybalay, buy a dress and shoes for the upcoming wedding I'm attending, and have dinner with my parents. Hopefully I can still find time to blog tomorrow...

GAMING IS EVIL.

Earlier this week, I said that I need to do a lot of things. I have to finish three anime series ASAP because I have to return them on Friday, and I have to clean my messy room because that's the right thing to do. But all I've been doing from morning to night is stare blankly at the PC, while leveling up characters and acquiring better weapons and armors.



I'm talking about my current addiction to playing AVEYOND 2: EAN'S QUEST, an RPG from Amaranth Games. I've played the first quest before (which took up a lot of my time), and now I'm into it again. When I open the PC in the morning to start my downloads, I try not to waste time by playing, but I end up playing and wasting time anyway. I know. I know. It's really a bad thing. T___T

This is also a similar situation when I started playing Ragnarok Online and also when my sister came home and "bribed" me with her PSP so that she can use the internet 24/7. I'm not really much of a gamer (I have poor coordination skills and poor sense of direction 0__o), but I enjoy uncovering clues and solving puzzles. I'm very meticulous when it comes to details, so I like leveling up my characters to the max and equipping them with the best armors and weapons. I also like to build up the relationships between the characters and I am wicked when it comes to collecting money and items. I take a lot of time exploring each place, and I revisit it two or thee times just to make sure I don't miss out on anything. It doesn't matter how many times I have to defeat the frogs and the snakes, I have to MUST collect ALL those money and experience points!!!

I'm even thinking about buying a PSP for myself, not really because I like to play, but because I can use it to read manga. But I think I'd eventually end up playing Monster Hunter anyway (and carve calluses on my thumbs trying to kick some Bulldrome butts). But right now that's just a distant dream because it's not really important (and quite expensive...). I mean, if I will buy a PSP then I'd rather save up for a laptop or a Sony Bravia, which would be a whole lot useful for my family, and not just for me.

I don't really want to spend majority of my life playing. I want my existence to be more meaningful. And so I should be going out there doing something relevant (or whatever), like perhaps do some community work or exercise to lose some weight and promote health awareness blah blah blah. But I am just too S E D E N T A R Y. My contentment and joy simply comes from just being able to use the computer and TV, and my labor consists of scrolling/clicking the mouse or pressing the forward-play button in the remote control. Heck, I don't even read books or draw anymore, let alone clean my room, do the chores or leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e. I have to work). Indeed, I am really quite THE BOMB BUM. >__<

I hope when I have kids in the future, they don't grow up like me. I hope they indulge themselves in sports and music and the arts and literature. I hope they develop well-rounded personalities and have more physical/social/spiritual awareness. I hope they know how to balance between discipline and fun, between work and play.


* AHEM! * (off topic already) * AHEM! *


Initially, I just wanted to rant about how I'm enjoying Aveyond 2, and how I plan to make fanarts out of the characters. But this turned out to be one random emo entry. LOL Anyway, I'd like to introduce you to the Aveyond 2 characters...



Ean Okho (The Shapeling)
Iya Tiki (The Singer)
Rye Zoyle (The Ranger)
Emma Willow (The Fighter)
Nicolas Pendragon (The White Mage)
Gavin Moren (The Warlock)
Ava One Eye (The Pirate)
Jack (The Thief)

As you can see, there's not much reference for drawing here. But since I'm burning with so much passion for this game right now, I might really just make a fanart or two. As long as my sedentary lifestyle won't overcome my priorities... As long as time will permit me... As long as I stop making excuses... As long as...




* goes back to playing * ^__~