EXCITED MUCH OVER NEW BOOKS!!!

A few days ago, I went to the Booksale branch in SM hoping to find a good book to buy...

...and I chanced upon these!!! “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”

Max Lucado and Charles Swindoll books at Php150 only!!! o(≧∇≦o)

These books usually cost around Php450 but I got them at a third off the usual price!
The books are brand new and the pages are still crisp~!

After a while, I went to another Booksale branch where I picked up my reserved copy of 

Joel Osteen's Starting Your Best Life Now...

...for the whopping price of Php120 only!!!
It's hardbound and all pages are in full color!

I'm just so excited and happy over these!!!! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ
I hope I can read them soon~

ANTI SOCIAL LIFE

Lately I have been quite depressed and just don't feel like doing anything. I've been watching animes frequently just to keep my mind busy, but sometimes I just don't feel ... alive. Maybe I'm tired from consecutive days of working, and most possibly drained by different kinds of trials going on in my life right now. My boyfriend said that I'm probably all burned out, and perhaps I need to go out with people.


And so, despite being post 24-hours duty (and pre 24-hours duty, as I'm working again tomorrow), I decided to get out of the house for a change. Today's a local holiday, since it's our city's Charter Day, so some of my friends don't have work. So I called up Gervie (a bank employee) and Don (a university professor) and we decided to hang out in the afternoon to have a drawing session. I was encouraging both of them to participate in the local comic convention come October, since they are both gifted artists and it's quite a shame for their talents to go to waste. Gervie started sketching panels while Don did some anatomy studies. I tried to make character designs for my story, but ended up making a fanart...

" I am Reisys V. Felicity Sumeragi. KEKEKE~ "

It's another sketch done with a ballpoint pen. Because of my current melancholic state, I'm also in some kind of an artist slump. (Although technically I don't really consider myself worthy to be called an artist. Not yet, anyway.) I just finished the anime Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai last night and surprisingly found it quite enjoyable. It's very funny and dealt with a group of anti-social characters whom I can somewhat relate to. My most favorite character is Hasegawa Kobato, a cosplaying middle school kid who is the sister of the main protagonist. I thought I'd make a fanart of her, and although I kinda messed up on this, but it was a fun experience drawing her. And talking with Gervie and Don regarding drawings, animes, our common interests and random stuffs somewhat uplifted my mood.


Then around 5pm, I left the boys and went to an outing with my discipleship group from church. I didn't really want to go swimming with them, and initially tried to squirm my way out by making some excuses to our leader. But I kinda felt bad about it, knowing that they were totally looking forward to the event, and so I changed my mind and went. It was perhaps our group's first time to actually go to someplace really different, and when we got there, I was amazed by the beautiful view...

It was a private hilltop compound overlooking the city, and at one side is an infinity pool! I didn't know we have such a lovely place within our city! We chitchatted, had a sumptuous dinner, and then our leader shared to us a message by Pastor Craig Groeschel about praying boldly to God, like what the first Christians did. "What you pray for reflects what you believe about God." I found it to be a very powerful and encouraging message, and would like to share the video link [HERE], that it may bless you as much as it has spoken to all members of my d-group.


After that, we took a lot of pictures and some of the girls went for a night swim. As I am not particularly fond of getting myself wet, so I didn't join them in the pool. I still got wet though, cos it was so dark and I accidentally stepped into the catch basin for the water. Got my Chucks soaked, boo.

I had fun today. And though my circumstances in life have not changed one bit and my heart still feels heavy, but I have my God and He gave me friends.


I know I will be okay. (^u^)

THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR

I was blessed when the cashier at National Bookstore SM gave me this. She asked me what my faith was, and when I told her I was a Christian, she encouraged me to get more of these pamphlets to give to my friends. This is a one year Bible-reading guide. My boyfriend and I failed at reading the Bible last year, and as part of our "vow of discipline" for 2011, we aim to finish it this time around. We didn't know how to go about it, but thank God for this guide which He timely brought to my hands. Now we have no excuse not to finish the Bible this year! I'm so excited. :)

It was just supposed to be something we planned to do as a couple, but God impressed upon me that I need to share this little blessing I have, cos I know it can and will become something very big that will move the hearts of many. I didn't know how else to share this except to give copies of the pamphlet to my friends. But this morning when I woke up, I felt that somehow God whispered the words into my ears and told me to upload it in Facebook. I think it can reach more people that way. I hope and pray that it will.

So I posted this in Facebook, and I'm posting it here again in my blog with the hopes that more and more people will be able to see this, and like me, aim to read the entire Bible this year. I also pray that this will develop in us the attitude for daily devotions and improve our relationship with and knowledge of our Father. Let's start the new year right with God as our main focus, and let us always keep Him as Master and Keeper of our lives.

(12 large images up ahead so I'd better insert a jump break here)

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010!

Traveling by bus from my workplace to my house takes more than two hours. I was a bit worried yesterday cos I was not too sure if I could get a ride since almost all of the buses were full as almost everyone's just rushing to get home for the holidays. Good thing a friend of mine was driving back to CDO so I got to hitch and was home by 6pm.

My sister also arrived the day before from Cebu so I was really excited and happy cos my family's complete. My aunt (Ah-e) also came, and we had a simple dinner. Gift-giving is not our tradition but my sister and I surprised our parents by preparing some presents for them. My Papa got a shirt from me and a sling bag from my sis; Mama got pajamas from me and flipflops from my sis; and I got a huge and absolutely adorable panda pillow from my sis and she got pajamas (pink with panda prints!) from me. We also unwrapped the gifts sent by my boyfriend♥ -- Christmas mugs + Cocoa for my family and a "gravity-defying" book for me. Then we took crazy pictures of ourselves in our cramped apartment. It was so much fun! The rest of the night was spent watching TV and facebook-ing. XD My parents went to sleep early but my sis and I were still up to see the fireworks set by the neighbors. They were really pretty~

I got the flu so most of Christmas eve and Christmas day were spent sleeping. (I know, I'm THAT boring! XD) Been sick the past 3 days -- always feeling feverish, with very bad colds, a developing cough and I also lost my voice! But I've been holding it in cos I just couldn't leave my work in the hospital yet. It's really ironic how I can devote all my time to treating patients yet don't have the time to treat myself. That's what they probably mean by vocation. Anyway, last night I've started drinking a whole bunch of medicines (many thanks to my supply of samples) so I hope I get well real soon.

This season, I'm just so much thankful for all the greetings and warm wishes, for the material and immaterial gifts, and for my family and the special memories we made. But most importantly, let us never forget and forever be grateful for the true meaning of CHRISTmas, and that is the celebration of how great our Awesome God loves us, so great that He came down to become human like us, and die on the cross for our every sin so that we may be saved. Let us always be reminded of this love and let us give back our adoration to our God and share this blessing to all the people around us. May the spirit of CHRISTmas be always in our hearts, not just today but every single day of our lives.

NOT JUST ANOTHER SUNDAY


"We have nothing if not belief..." - Reepicheep

This morning, I went with Gervie to Inside Out, which is the youth service of Golden City Alliance Fellowship. It was my first time to attend their service, although I have always been interested since our friend Glen also goes there (though she was absent today). It was a refreshing change to be in such a youth-packed group, and I was also blessed by today's message on The Parable of the Lost Sons. I have, once again, realized my sinfulness and my lack of faith, yet I am, once again, reminded of how great and amazing our God is, how easily He forgives us, and how much He so freely showers us with His love! Praise GOD!

After the service, we went back home to fetch my parents and then had a sumptuous lunch at Bigby's. We didn't really have any definite plans so we just walked around Limketkai Mall. Later, Gervie and I saw A LOT of books on sale at National Bookstore, so we freaked out and splurged. I bought Michael Crichton's Pirate Latitudes (Php75), William Golding's Lord of the Flies (PhP50), and Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch (Php30! WTF!?!!). Gervie also bought a whole stack of books, including the Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy volumes 2-5, which I'll just borrow later on. My parents and I decided to watch a movie at Gaisano, so we parted with Gervie from there.

We watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. This is undeniably my most favorite book in the series, and although it's a very inaccurate adaptation but it's also perhaps my most favorite Narnia movie so far. I love how magical and adventure-packed this film is, and I am pleased with how Edmund and Lucy has grown up so beautifully. And oh my, Prince Caspian!♥ ... were you always this gorgeously hot and delicious (ahem!) good looking!? XD I enjoyed Reepicheep's antics, he's always been so lovable! We also have our new kid Eustace Scrubb, whom at first I really didn't like and thought was not fit for the role. But later on I find myself liking him in the same way that his character in the book grew on me. He is actually my most favorite character in the book, and the movie version was quite likeable as well. So I think I will look forward to seeing him reprise his role in the next movie, which I think they were hinting when they mentioned Jill Pole's name in the end.

My most favorite quote in the movie was what Aslan told Lucy when they were facing the mirror. I had it memorized but now I forgot. XD But it was about valuing yourself and being beautiful just by who you are. The above picture is my most favorite scene: As Aslan approached, I had the impression that the dragon tried to back off a bit and hide its face. And then we just simply see him physically breaking down. This brought me to tears, as I imagined that it would probably be a similar reaction when we will face our God. We will surely fall on our knees and try to hide ourselves, because no matter who we are in this earth, we are just not worthy of His glorious presence. And yet, without a word, His love will just simply break down our sinfulness. GOD IS INDEED SO AMAZING!!! ^___^

After the movie, my parents and I had an eat-all-you-can dinner before heading home. It had been a long day, but it was rather fulfilling and I felt really blessed.

THANK YOU, GLEN!

A few days ago I met up with my high school classmate, Glen, and now I just want to write this quick THANK YOU post for her for three wonderful things she has done for me this week:

1. She invited us for a wonderful dinner in her house last night.

One of our high school classmates, Juvy, is going off to Japan to do God's work, and we might not get to see her for another 3 years. So Glen organized this really simple yet elegant dinner for her. Our two other classmates, Gervie and Jen (plus husband Itong), were also with us. We had a really great fellowship, reminiscing old memories and catching up on new stuffs. Everyone just felt relaxed inside Glen's cozy house and eating the sumptuous meal she prepared. But I don't know if Juvy knew it was a despedida party for her. None of us actually had the heart to tell her goodbye, and I kinda messed up and wasn't able to prepare the gift for her. But we had a grand time anyway so I'm just so thankful.


2. She invited me to join a care group meeting.

Lord, You alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
Psalm 16:5
Tonight, Glen personally brought me to a care group meeting held at Serendipity Cafe and Resto. I've long wanted (and needed) a small group of Christian friends whom I can be accountable to and responsible for, but just never got around to joining one. I guess I'm just one lost sheep with my messed up life and priorities. But praise God for Glen, who was quick to invite me to join a group composed of young, single ladies.

So I met some new friends: Chai, the group leader who works for a bank; Mizpah, a BS Psych student; Gigi, a first year law student; and Iris and Tia, who are med students. It was my first time to join a care group, so I kinda didn't know what to expect (or what they were expecting from me). But the group was warm and friendly, and I just had a good time getting to know them. Most importantly, I got to feed on God's Word and start allowing Him to fix my broken life. I just feel so "wrong" right now, and I know only God can heal me. And I know that He will if I just let Him take control.

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.
Psalm 16: 7-8


3. She told me about this place where we could possibly transfer.

It's been almost a year since we've moved into our current residence, and although this is a wonderful place, but it's just too small and cramped for us. So we've been thinking of the possibility of moving again once our contract here expires, and Glen told me about this apartment near their house. I contacted the owner today, and I'm quite interested in the offer. I told my parents about it, and they also started considering it. We might check out the place and let's just see what happens. *crosses fingers*


Thank you Lord for Glen. She is really such a blessing. ^__________^

ON DEAD ENDS AND HOPE, AND LUGGING AROUND YOUR BAGGAGE IN MCDONALDS

I didn’t really get a decent sleep the other night, and it was even worse last night since I got to hit the sack around 4-ish AM already (dunno what I was doing... x__x). But even though I only had around three hours of sleep, somehow I felt rested. And I praise God for that. Because it meant that I was able to wake up early (and not groggy), and had the opportunity to attend the first church service. I was scheduled for 24H duty today and time-in is 8AM, but I asked permission to be late so that I can go to church. I felt really blessed and thankful because Mam Cha and Doc Geng told me it was OK to be late. So lugging behind my two huge bags, I set off to go to church before leaving town for work.

I haven’t been to church for quite a while already because of work. I know that’s really a poor and sorry excuse and I actually don’t like using that reason but that’s really the truth. I also don’t have a small group, and also don’t get to attend bible studies or prayer meetings or any gatherings for that matter. Sometimes I also don’t follow my quiet time diligently. In short, I feel that I am spiritually starved. But praise God because in Him there’s HOPE, and that was exactly the message this morning.

Pastor Chris opened the message with a witty anecdote about his sliding experience in Splash Island several years ago. And he summed up his experience by saying that
1. Life is a ride that we should enjoy, and
2. When you hit rock bottom, don’t panic. There is a lifeguard.
And then he proceeded to discuss about DEAD ENDS and HOPE, using the Israelites’ exodus out of Egypt and through the Red Sea as an example. I thought it was a very exciting message, direct to the point, with very effective powerpoint slides. He even pointed out a contrast between the Worldly responses in facing dead ends (We fear. We cry. We panic. We blame.) and the Christian way of dealing with such (We fear not. We stand firm. We stay still. We let God fight for us.), appropriately backed up with the Holy Scriptures of course. And while listening to our Pastor teach us and guide us concerning these truths, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears (which I promptly wiped away with the back of my hand). I always tend to cry during church service (to my utter embarrassment XD). Somehow I just can’t control the tears whenever I am reminded of God’s goodness, mercy and love for us, and especially for me. I am so unworthy, and yet I know He cares for me deeply. What a truly awesome God He is! ^____^

After the service, I dragged my two heavy bags along and went for a quick stop at McDonalds to use their restroom and buy some food. I felt a bit embarrassed cos the whole place was packed, and I somehow looked like a runaway. Nevertheless, feeding myself is a much higher priority than keeping face, and so I just had to endure the curious looks of some onlookers. I then left the place, took a taxi to the terminal, and rode the bus to Malaybalay. I arrived around 1230PM. Good thing it didn’t seem like a busy day for Doc Geng.

So now I’m on 24H duty but I am just so tired. I’m not really sleepy, although I have been yawning countless times since I came here. I just feel really tired. I hope there won’t be a lot of patients tonight, so that my physical body can at least recover a bit. But nevertheless I’m really happy, because I got to go to church. And that really made my day.

STILL

Right now there is an open door in front of me. But one that I do not want to enter. I am afraid to go in, terrified of what’s inside, fearful of what may become of me in there. Because I have once seen a glimpse of the interior, and it was a frenzied mix of anxiety, loss, loneliness, exhaustion combined with some self-improvement, friendships, strength and confidence. It was something I liked at the same time something I do not like. Something I wanted yet something I despised. I was afraid of that door. I am afraid of that door.

Another thing that troubles me is that in order to cross that portal, I also need a lot of help, assistance from unwilling people who do not understand the raging pain within me and are blind to the cries of my heart. I need to approach them, yet I do not want to. I am afraid to. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of mockery. Afraid of shame. And afraid ... because seeking their support would mean I am crossing that door, and I am too frightened to even think about it.

I try to look around for another way out but all I see are closed doors. I am at a loss of what to do. I am confused and in pain.

I remember the lives of many great individuals from the past. Noah - who without any question, crossed that door with that great ark that he built. Abraham - determined and certain, he moved out of his country for that door to his future. Moses - who left the comforts of his palace and crossed that door. And Jonah - who tried to run away from that door and ended up inside the belly of a huge fish. These are men who walked in faith, with courage, and crossed the bridge to that door. I am so sure right now that they were also afraid once, that they were also mocked and scorned. Yet they overcame their fear with faith and with the assurance that what they were doing was right. That the door was right for them.

I would do the same too, if only I have the same conviction. If I only knew that I am truly meant for that door. But I do not feel peace within me. In The Alchemist, it was said that "everyone has a treasure that awaits him" and "if it’s meant for you, then the universe will conspire to make everything work out for you". Yet I do not feel that everything is going right. I do not know if it’s because of my fear and worry that is blocking me from believing that this door is for me, or if it’s because this fear and worry are actually sensible signs that are telling me that not all open doors are meant to be entered.

So now I am still standing here. In front of this door. I still do not know what to do.

I do not know what to do with my life.





Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

TRUST HIS HEART

I initially planned to rant. But I figured there is no point in sharing bitterness. (and staining my blog with it XD).

So I decided to post a song instead.

And pray that in the same way I have trusted in Him before, I will always choose to trust in Him again.



All things work for our good,
Though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two,
Sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us,
His ways are not our own.
So when your pathway grows dim,
And you just can't see Him,
Remember you're never alone.

God is too wise, to be mistaken
God is too good, to be unkind
So when you don't understand...
When you don't see His plan...
When you can't trace His hand...
Trust His Heart.

He sees the masterplan,
He holds our future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope,
All our hope is found in Him.
We see the present clearly,
But He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like Him.

God is too wise, to be mistaken
God is too good, to be unkind
So when you don't understand...
When you don't see His plan...
When you can't trace His hand...
Trust His Heart.

He alone is faithful and true,
He alone knows what is best for you...

So when you don't understand...
When you don't see His plan...
When you can't trace His hand...
Trust His Heart.


Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE shall direct your path.

HE WILL MAKE A WAY

When I first heard of the Don Moen Worship and Revival Concert, I was actually very interested to go. But since lately I’m sort of on a tight budget and I didn’t know who to go with, so I was having second thoughts. Then earlier today I finally decided not to go, and made plans to visit my friend Joey.

It was a last minute message around 3pm from Catherine that changed my mind. She said she got complimentary (read : FREE ^____^ ) tickets for us! Although the seats were a little far from the stage and we really can’t see Don Moen up close (aw... and no matter how we look at it, he IS a bishie even at his age ^o^<3), but we were still very happy because we were able to go to the concert!

The event was held at the Pelaez Sports Complex, and I guess there were around ten to fifteen thousand people who went worshipping GOD tonight! Praise GOD indeed! We sang lots of songs, some of which we’ve been singing since high school and have memorized by heart. But he has new songs too that touched and moved our hearts. One of these is He Never Sleeps from his latest album, Hiding Place.





To be honest, I’ve been having a lot of heavy burdens in my heart since last year. I’ve been feeling miserable and guilt-stricken, and I just can’t seem to get the load off. But recently, I’ve just given up struggling, and decided to simply lay it all down to GOD. It’s actually useless and tiring to run away all the time, when you can actually just run home into the loving and forgiving embrace of your Heavenly Father. I feel that the past two weeks I have more consciousness of GOD’s control in my life, and slowly, I want to return to Him. Slowly, I want to bring back that burning passion to always put GOD and His will first in my life.

And GOD knows my heart’s desires and He indeed makes a way! I feel that everything just fell right into place and we were able to attend tonight’s concert and experience spiritual revival and healing. It was so much fun, plus I feel so blessed and grateful and so fulfilled.

Yey-ness and praises for GOD!


P.S. The above video is beautifully made by the way. Whoever made it, thank you so much.
If you like the music, try searching for more Don Moen music videos in youtube, then after, you can try listening to another great Christian group Hillsong.